Has a friend ever confided in you that the loss of their dog was more painful than the death of a loved one? Have you ever felt that way yourself?
Society has forced us to feel ashamed of such emotions, but research shows we are more than justifiable to mourn the loss of a furry friend.
When our family’s first dog, Spike, passed away, my father was devastated. He would come home from work and just sit in his car, unable to face walking through the door without our little Poodle to greet him. He has hiked and visited online pet loss support groups. He woke up crying in the night.
This is the same man who, years later, practically carried me away from a family funeral when my own grief brought me to my knees. At the time, I was confused by his various reactions, but a recent article from Business Insider clarify the object. As it turns out, it’s quite normal for people to experience intense pain at the loss of a pet compared to a close friend or even a loved one.
For many people, the death of a pet is almost comparable to the loss of a loved one. There are even research to support this, but there are almost no cultural rituals to help us cope. When a person dies, there are obituaries, eulogy, religious ceremonies, and gatherings of family and friends. We were laid off – some employers even paid the bereaved. There are many ways in which we are encouraged to mourn and express our feelings.
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When a pet dies, we often don’t have these traditions or empathetic advocates to turn to. Most people are expected to return to all of life’s responsibilities immediately, with little or no closure. The house was strangely quiet and filled with bittersweet memories. We have lost a best friend and loyal companion, but the depth of that grief is mostly unknown.
Pet owners feel that their grief is dramatic, excessive, or even embarrassing. After all, “it’s just a dog.” The incredible human-animal relationship we have formed with dogs is being overlooked. Our baby mice provide us with constant positive feedback. They love us simply as “we”. They lower our blood pressure and lift our mood. How can we Not devastated when that thing is lost?
There is also the issue of the sudden life change that occurs when a pet dies. No more steamy 6am wake-up calls, daily walks or warm greetings after a long day at the office. For many people, their pets give them a sense of purpose – even a reason to exist. When that suddenly disappears, it is understandable that life is changing.
Another interesting factor pointed out by Business Insider is a phenomenon known as “misname”. It describes our tendency to accidentally refer to a child, partner or loved one by the name of our pets. This suggests that we place our dogs in the same intellectual category as our closest family members. When they die, that’s essentially what we’ve lost. A beloved member of the family.
The death of a pet means the loss of a source of unconditional love, a devoted companion, and a provider of safety and comfort. Our dogs are sewn into the very fabric of our everyday lives. So yes, it pain. Sometimes it’s more than the death of a friend or family member. And there’s absolutely no reason to feel embarrassed about it.
RELATED: 3 Great Ways to Honor a Dog Who Passed By
H/T to BusinessInsider.com
