Even tech companies like Netflix and PayPal require manual effort and often pages of documentation if the bereaved doesn’t have access to the deceased’s credentials. But Empathetic, another loss-making software company, wants to change that. A premium feature that takes advantage of what technology is good at — finance and pre-filled forms — to automatically close a deceased person’s account. “We take what is complicated for humans and easy for machines, and make it as simple and accessible as possible,” says Ron Gura, co-founder of empathy. The company hopes to reduce more 26 hours a month that 46 percent of families for the phone to end their relatives’ work.
Achieving this goal may involve a combination of technology and personal assistance, Arthur explains. “You have an app or website that you can use, but there is someone on the phone who can also answer your questions or guide you.”
Post-loss technology providers have integrated some one-on-one support into many of their services. But an easy-to-navigate user experience centered on a clear, well-informed checklist is the most helpful support a digital platform can provide. Each “to do” and “how-to” list helps relieve mental energy, but more importantly, they are all organized by time. Grouping tasks by “Get These Things First” or “Things to Do in Week Three” visually counteracts the biggest misconception among grieving people: that everything involved to the deceased — their family, belongings, finances and legacy — must be dealt with as quickly as possible.
“They should take their time,” Arthur said of the mourners. “Those accounts will still be there. Do not rush. ”
Sheri Kay, a homicide employee in Asheville, North Carolina, seeks to undercut clients’ expectations that they need to move fast. “You can do it with confidence without the sense of urgency about something having to end and the next step to happen,” she says. “Hopefully we bring some sense of the nature of control to an uncontrollable situation.”
That space allows families to have more autonomy in responding to death. They may have had time to talk to a death doula in the community, who often connected with mourners by word of mouth. They can remember the partnership between their bank and an application after a loss and learn how to plan for a burial service instead of a traditional burial.
Making time for decisions that are right for the bereaved and their loved ones is one way to honor each person’s loss, as each experience is unique. “People often say ‘grief is grief,’” says Melissa Seligman, another death figure from Asheville. “But if we don’t look at each person’s independent stories of pain, we won’t understand each person’s plight.”
Many people who work in the healthcare industry, from doulas to tech company founders, stress the importance of end-of-life planning. The logistical burden of someone’s death can be alleviated by preparing well in advance, like keeping track of account information, updating wills, and communicating with trusted people about funeral wishes. But Seligman realizes that such a smooth transition is not realistic for many. She specializes in traumatic losses, such as accidents or suicide, like my father’s. The Covid-19 pandemic shows that even the most careful end-of-life plans can be turned upside down and lead to traumatic loss and consequent grief.
When you walk into a traumatic loss, Seligman says, “you’re not really working on the person’s grief, you’re working on their shock. You can walk in and say ‘What do you need me for? They may look at you like you’re crazy, like, ‘Do you think I have a clue what I need right now?’ “
