I spoke to 70 parents of very successful adults — here are 4 phrases they never say to their kids
Wouldn’t it be great if your kid grew up to be an entrepreneur?
In my view, entrepreneurs are not just founders of for-profit businesses. They are resilient, hard-working people who start something up, who come up with ideas and bring them to life, and who turn passions into projects.
As research for my book, “Elevate an Entrepreneur,” I interviewed 70 parents who raised very successful adults about how they helped their children achieve their dreams.
What I’ve found is that communication plays a big role in sparking a child’s future entrepreneurship. Here are four phrases these parents never used when their kids were young:
1. “I didn’t trust you, so I reviewed your exercise and corrected you.”
Parents all stress the importance of responsibility and accountability. They want their kids to take ownership, fix problems, learn from mistakes, and gain confidence as they get older.
But it’s not just about homework. John Arrow dropped out of college a few credits before graduating to start Mobile supporta technology company that has created more than $200 million in revenue.
When he was in fifth grade, he and his friends wrote a school newspaper, which sold out immediately. But they failed the fact check. The principal was very angry, and his friends got into trouble with their parents. But John’s parents laughed and told him to correct his mistake.
“Knowing that my parents would support me, even when the authority was against me, made me double down and work harder to show them that they were right to believe in me,” says John.
2. “We’re increasing your allowance so you can buy whatever you want.”
“Never give out free cash,” one father told me.
The parents I spoke with all come from a variety of socioeconomic backgrounds, and have taught their children the value of money. Even the wealthier kids have to work to earn their living.
Nyla Rodgers is the founder Mama Hope, a nonprofit organization that funds and advocates for community organizations. When Nyla was in high school, she wanted to go abroad with her French class.
But instead of paying the full amount, her mother says she must earn half the cost of the trip. Left with no choice, Nyla babysits, mows the lawn, walks the dog, teaches swimming, and does data entry.
“I worked 15 hours a day, seven days a week to raise money. By the end of the summer, I had raised enough money to go. That’s what started my entrepreneurial journey,” she said.
3. “No after-school activities until your grades improve.”
Many of the parents I spoke to didn’t understand their children’s passions, but they all gave it to them much Time to dive into it.
Some kids follow their passions beyond becoming good students. Others put all their energy into their passions and study well. Parents support them regardless.
Jon Chu, director of hit blockbusters like “Crazy Rich Asians” I’ve been interested in filmmaking since I was in second grade. His parents are immigrants who run a restaurant and they hoped he would achieve the American dream by working hard, but what could happen to them in the movie never happened.
In high school, one night, Jon’s mother was upset to see him making videos instead of doing his homework. He started crying: “But this is what I love! I want to do that for the rest of my life.”
When she picked him up from school the next day, she had the filmmaking books she received from the library. “If you want to do this,” she says, “study it, and be the best at it.”
4. “I’ll give you money if you get a good score.”
Growing up, future entrepreneurs were never taught the life goal of becoming rich. Instead, it’s about succeeding, doing better, improving, and creating something great.
Parents understand that their children will never be happy if they are stuck with something they don’t like, and that they will never excel at something if they don’t work non-stop. break and they will never work no – stop if they don’t like it.
So they raised kids to put passion into their business and create better products and services. The kids trust that, most likely, the money will come. And even if it doesn’t, it’s better than working hard on something they hate.
As a result, they grow up with a sense of purpose and a desire to make a difference in the world.
Margot Machol Bisnow is a writer, a mother, and parenting expert. She has served 20 years in government, including as an FTC Commissioner and Chief of Staff of the President’s Council of Economic Advisers, and is the author of “Raising an Entrepreneur: How to Help Your Child Achieve Their Dreams.” Follow her on Instagram @margotbisnow.
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