“We believe you’re all sitting at the table because you bring something to it,” Lily Montasser told the room at the Jane Hotel in the West Village on a Thursday in late March. The whole group – 10 men, 10 women – had come for an evening of cocktails, acquaintances and, hopefully, some romance.
To get a seat at this metaphorical table, guests had to pay a $60 non-refundable registration fee (part of which included a background check), answer a series of questions (eg. e.g. “You are more likely to be found… A. sweating it out at Equinox B. “at a 5 star hotel in Cabo or C. sumiling in Montauk”), sitting for a virtual interview and earn an extra $150 for entry, all to meet a handful of also tested singles by Ambyr Club, a New York speed dating company.
Founded in December by Ms. Montasser, 29, and Victoria Van Ness, 25, Club Ambyr is positioning itself as a rival to the current range of dating apps, where options are plentiful but “energy,” as the company’s website puts it. harder to read. Ambyr hosted seven events at trendy bars in Manhattan – a callback to a time when first impressions relied not on over-censored digital profiles, but on instant responses. for aquarium questions.
“The old comes back new,” says Julie Spira, a dating coach who runs a company called Cyber-Dating Expert. She noted that first document The speed-dating event was held at a cafe in Beverly Hills in 1998. The host, Rabbi Yaacov Deyo, “was trying to connect Jewish singles so that they could connect. was in the tribe,” said Miss Spira, “and it started. ”
Online dating has grown in popularity, but even after the birth of Match.com (where Ms Spira met her current partner) in 1995, “there was still a stigma towards online dating. online,” she said, “and if you’ve met someone online, you certainly wouldn’t have told someone in the ’90s”.
Speed dating, on the other hand, is a socially acceptable way to test potential partners face-to-face – not to mention extremely effective. Using data from a speed dating company called HurryDate, a 2005 study by the University of Pennsylvania found that most people rate attraction within three seconds of meeting.
“If you look at swipe apps, it less than more than three seconds for a person to decide whether to swipe right or left,” said Ms. Spira. “That’s a millisecond!” After Tinder arrived in 2012, she saw a number of speed dating companies close, including HurryDate and No Waiting Dating. “They get old and stale because dating apps are an innovative new way to meet someone,” she said.
But like everything shiny and new, dating apps eventually get stale for some users. The fact is so old, some of the companies behind them have already started hosting bar gatherings where strangers will meet in person (gasp!). Catering to dissatisfied online dataers yes still a marketing tactic because the such companies. It’s only a matter of time before speed dating returns.
Maxine Williams, 26 years old, founded We met IRL, a speed dating company for people of color, in January. “I came up with the idea in December after attending a low-key Manhattan speed-dating event,” she says. Her event attendees seem to agree; Lauren Williams, a influential peopleattended a We Met IRL event in February because, she said, “dating in New York was a sham.”
CWAQ, which stands for “connect with a qutie”, is also inspired by frustration. Kevin Rabinovich, 24, a freelance events producer, was frustrated by the lack of structure and variety of such events. In a single mixer in January, he noted that for “anyone who isn’t outspoken or outspoken, there’s nothing here.”
CWAQ events are open to people of all genders. (Both Ambyr and We Met IRL say they are aiming to host LGBTQ events in the coming months.) They are also priced on a sliding scale; Attendees can get it for free or pay up to $20.
Founders at Ambyr bear their $150 admission fee, which includes an open bar. As Ms. Montasser put it: “If you were to date 10 different people, how much would it cost you?”
Ambyr’s biggest challenge right now is gender equality. Ms. Montasser said that women make up 75% of all applications. Both founders are constantly on the lookout for men to apply to, but the hunt often comes at the cost of their dating lives.
Ms Van Ness said: “We’re going to find a really great and perfect guy, and we can’t even get him. “We will send him to Ambyr for the greater good of the company.”
Mrs. Montasser agreed. “Now I can’t marry a good guy without feeling guilty,” she said.
Towards the end of the event at Primo’s at TriBeCa in late April, Ms. Montasser hit a golden singing bowl (she believes its vibrations “activate the throat chakra”) to announce that it was time for attendees to choose their top three dates. their. The matches will then be connected via email.
However, one couple opted for a radical workaround: huddled at a table in the next room, where they would eventually be alone – and turned off the clock.
