We know D3 Publisher is making budget games. It’s been done since the early 2000’s with all Simple 1500 Series title. There is a place for them! They might even be having fun. Samurai Maiden feels like it belongs in that line. The thing is, it’s essentially a “budget” game with a premium price tag of $59.99. Given how uneven and unsatisfying it is, it just isn’t true. The more I play, the more I have a grudge against these bland, boring, and relatively mediocre beaters.
Usually, I like to start a review by talking about the game’s story. You know, setting the stage for why someone should care about the characters and want to go on this new adventure. Samurai Maiden confused me just… starting things off with Tsumugi was instantly teleported to the Sengoku period. No introduction or explanation! We suddenly see her speaking in the middle of a conversation with an invisible voice, and then she’s in front of Nobunaga Oda! After some rambling, we discovered she was the prophesied Priestess of Harmony. Three shinobi from different worlds gathered to meet her so they could fight the Demon Lord together, hugging, kissing, and taking selfies along the way. I mean, in the end you do get the proper introduction you deserve… when the second chapter begins. It’s an awkward and frustrating design.
The script is brutal. There is no exchangeable dialogue here. I wonder if writers ever engage in any ordinary conversation with their fellow human beings. Why did Tsumugi introduce himself as a member of Gen Z? Especially with a Sengoku warrior, neither of them know what the term means? More importantly, maybe he doesn’t even care! Also, at one point, Tsumugi actually said, “We’re girls, so it’s no big deal” after Iyo exclaims, “Your cheeks are touching! Your friend is hugging you from behind in this photo! It’s one of many gruesome lines in this disappointing game. I doubt Nobunaga left so quickly because he knows this is a hot mess and doesn’t want it.
As for fanservice, it’s about what people can expect. You will eventually unlock hugs and kisses scenes, but it’s not as blatant as games like Omega Z Maze. It takes quite a while to even unlock the more “romantic” types of moments in the gallery. There is no explanation or justification for the sudden instant attraction between the warriors and Tsumugi. I guess being a Priestess of Harmony is an aphrodisiac? I’ve played games that used same-sex relationships and sexual tension as selling points before and Samurai MaidenIts dialogue isn’t realistic or interesting, not to mention it can feel a bit tame compared to other titles.
Fanservice aside, probably the main reason someone should switch to Samurai Maiden its beat’em up action. Well, don’t come to it expecting Senran Kagura or Omega Force Musou-Quality action. The blades are pretty dull! Tsumugi doesn’t really move smoothly on the battlefield, and it quickly dives into button-pressing. Combos are basic, though sometimes the skills she’ll learn by getting closer to her warrior “friends” will help. It’s amazingly repetitive action against enemies that tend to look similar and aren’t very smart. Not to mention it tends to feel very bulky. But hey, at least the smaller enemies are usually just standing around waiting for you to attack!
The only real challenge comes when you’re facing bigger bosses or enemies, as they’ll summon minions again and again to attack from behind when you’re distracted from the target.” importance”. Why worry about actually turning enemies into tactical geniuses when you can throw a ton at someone at once to make them unable to dodge every trivial attack? Especially if there are mines on the battlefield that damage you if nearby enemies step up. It’s not too terrible to cut through them. However, when I raise things to Hard difficulty in some chapters, the enemies don’t get brighter at all! They are just healthier! That means they can summon more allies! Their HP removal is annoying.
It was disappointing to see how Tsumugi’s ally was also dealt with. Do you think the focus on relationships, the possibility of having positive love running alongside Tsumugi, and the fact that the other three women are all ninjas, would help in a fight? No! Unless you instruct them to use a particular action, they’ll just follow along like a puppy in a daze. I know you have weapons, Iyo! There are many enemies around us! Use it! But no, instead they would just keep it on the defensive, ready to attack without taking any action. Not to mention when you use their special attack in a skirmish, you need to be positioned to make sure you hit your target.
Also, if a game is going to add platformer elements, try and make the characters competent? As you go through very linear stages, you sometimes need to jump or use your ally’s skills to continue. Tsumugi is not good at dancing! It’s stiff and awkward. The double jump doesn’t go as far as you’d expect, which takes some getting used to. I wondered if the team knew combat wasn’t very exciting, so added these segments while moving between battles to give players more to do. These segments are not well executed, which annoys me. Likewise, quizzes are not often too easy to feel worthwhile.
While Samurai MaidenThe characters of can be cute, the gameplay is completely unsatisfying. At best, it’s a bland beat’em that has you slashing through skeleton ghosts. At its worst, it is infuriating. Samurai Maiden not like Ed-0: Zombie Rebellion, gets early access and costs only $19.99. This would be a far different review than it was. This is a disappointing game in poor condition, and there are plenty of better fan service-filled beat’em up games out there.
Samurai Maiden available for Switch, PS4, PS5 and PC.
