‘Numb to This’ graphic novel is a memoir about surviving a mass shooting: NPR

news7g10/23/2022

0 5 minutes read

'Numb to This' graphic novel is a memoir about surviving a mass shooting: NPR

In her debut graphic novel, Name thisKindra Neely shares the emotional toll that surviving a mass shooting left her with.

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In her debut graphic novel, Name thisKindra Neely shares the emotional toll that surviving a mass shooting left her with.

Kindra Neely spent years seeking help.

Seven years ago, she survived a mass shooting at Umpqua Community College in Oregon, where a gunman killed eight students and a professor and wounded eight others. She has now shared her experience in a debut graphic novel, Numb to This: Memoirs of a Mass Shootinghope that it helps others.

“[This book] is what I was looking for right after the shooting happened,” Neely said. I think for me, I really need to know what will happen to me in a few years. Like, what was expected or what I should be looking for. “

In the book, she not only recounts what happened that day, but also recounts her journey to overcome guilt and emotional trauma. She said she hopes other survivors of gun violence and trauma will find that moving forward is an uphill fight, but one that can be done.

“I think just having representation of what happens after is important to everyone because without it, you might be stuck in the sentence, ‘I don’t know what happens next; I don’t. know what to do,'” she said. “And that can put your whole life on hold.”

Trying to move forward, amid constant violence

Neely survived the Umpqua Community College shooting in 2015, and has struggled as tragedies like it have happened since.

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Neely survived the Umpqua Community College shooting in 2015, and has struggled as tragedies like it have happened since.

Neely’s novel comes as a series of mass shootings and gun violence continues in the United States.

At the beginning of the book, she describes witnessing gun violence in the Texas town she grew up in. Later, several pages of the book show her reacting to shootings that occurred after her survival: Pulse nightclub in Orlando, concerts in Las Vegas, and Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland.

“Finally, through my own experience, learning more about why these things happen and how complacent society can be with this, I want to include that we don’t can adhere to this, because this is happening to people that I care about,” Neely said. “This is happening to strangers I don’t know, but I really care, and you know, I wouldn’t wish this on anyone else.”

Neely says moments in the book where she learns of a new shot look chaotic and messy because when they happen, she doesn’t deal with her feelings well – she still hasn’t figured it out. tools to solve them.

Now, she says, there are tools, but repetitive trauma still hurts.

“In particular, Uvalde really felt like the wind was blowing away from me,” she said. “It’s not always the case with every single one. And I’m really taking precautions right now so I don’t get overwhelmed by it. But yeah, it’s really like a punch in the gut.”

Coping with emotional pain

Reminders of what Neely has been through can sometimes come as a surprise.

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Reminders of what Neely has been through can sometimes come as a surprise.

Neely says that, despite her lack of economic means to afford consistent counseling, she feels fortunate to have found people through free resources who have helped her with mental health issues. after the shooting.

Throughout the book, she shares episodes where an explosion or a crowded room would send her into a panic attack. But she also shows the incremental effects of the shooting – her friendships get worse, she feels angrier, and she develops a constant sense of helplessness.

Overcoming that means letting yourself feel the negative emotions, instead of pushing them away.

“It’s just being aware of when I’m feeling this way and feeling like that, no, it’s okay to feel bad. These are the things you should feel bad about,” Neely said. “And that helps because then you’re processing the emotion, not just holding on to it and letting it fester and get worse.”

Feeling “intruded” by the presence of the media

After the shooting at UCC, the media reaction for Neely was many.

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After the shooting at UCC, the media reaction for Neely was many.

Neely’s novel also grapples with her post-shooting experiences with the media.

A photo of her and a friend reunited after the massacre was released without their consent. And during a vigil for the victims, she was overwhelmed by reporters who approached her and others looking for information.

In the book, she describes feeling “intrusive” when the photo was released. But after reflecting on the experience and talking to the journalists present that day, her opinion changed.

She realized that many of those reporters not only had little experience in the field, but had not received any training to approach survivors sensitively and with concern. Some training and post-fact interviews will help protect both journalists and the people they talk to, she says.

Finding comfort in art

Neely was asked to help create a memorial on the campus for the 9 victims of the UCC shooting, and in doing so she connected with her traumatized community.

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Neely was asked to help create a memorial on the campus for the 9 victims of the UCC shooting, and in doing so she connected with her traumatized community.

Neely’s method of sharing her story – a graphic novel – means that the pages of her book are not only filled with raw emotions, but also with vivid depictions of life. her life before and after shooting.

She says she started drawing as a hobby, but didn’t consider it a career option until college – and after shooting.

“What I love about drawing is that it can do a lot for you mentally,” she says. “When I do things like comic books, especially in the early stages of making them, it’s a more difficult puzzle to solve because you’re trying to tell a story in the best way and how do you get it to work? I can make the characters and the setting suit me.”

It also meditates for her; an activity that excites her for the moment, especially when it comes to painting nature, and is hopefully another step on her healing path.

news7g10/23/2022

0 5 minutes read