Mercedes-Maybach EQS SUV 2023 was officially revealed today, making 649 hp and 700 lb-ft of torque. And to justify the “if you had to ask, you can’t afford it, man” price tag, it also has an ultra-luxurious interior. The reclining executive seat comes standard with small pillows for your comfort, and there’s even the option to add a calf massager. And, obviously, it’ll also be your go-to if you need a little help reaching a deal.
In case you lost it:
You would think that information would be included at the top of the press release, but no. To find it, you have to dig deep, through the section that says: “In the digital instrument cluster, the hands of the speedometer and power meter are designed like a moving silk scarf. elegant in the wind according to speed and driving. style.” And you also have to read through the 368 words Mercedes has for its use of vegetable-tanned leather, but it’s definitely there.
Between the paragraphs talking about the HEPA air filter and the Burmester 4D sound system is this little gem: “A special and luxurious perfume, named No. 12 MOOD Ebony, created specifically for the Mercedes-Maybach EQS SUV. It is not intended to please but to captivate with its exclusive composition of stimulating sandalwood combined with spices.”
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I don’t know how to read that any way other than that Mercedes created a fragrance specifically to make your passengers horny. Although, like a typical Maybach owner, it does not aim to please. Only seduce. How Mercedes created such a sexy scent, we’re still not sure, but now we have to know what it smells like. Chocolate and oysters? Fox pheromones and Curve?
Also, while we admire Mercedes going out of its way to help you make the beast with two backs, I do have questions about the logistics of getting it on. After all, even if you don’t mind your driver getting the full show, the console that divides the rear seats doesn’t exactly seem conducive to coitus. And is it even possible to climb over into the other seat without knocking over the champagne flutes on your quest to knock boots?
If there’s a will, though, I’m sure there’s definitely a way. Especially with the help of No. 12 MOOD Ebony, the official scent of banging in the back seat.
