Starting therapy or training can be a little intimidating. You meet someone new and suddenly you have to tell them your thoughts, fears, problems and possibly all about your past or trauma. When trying to decide if a therapist or trainer is right for you, going with your gut is important, but how should you even follow your gut when you’re not? Are you sure that fear and uncertainty are holding you back?
While there are questions you can ask during your first phone consultation To start seeing if you and a therapist or coach are right for you, here are some other helpful ways to know if a therapist or coach is right for you.
You should understand that your therapist or coach is listening and developing a cumulative knowledge of what you are sharing.
First of all, you want to feel like your therapist or coach is really listening to you. You want to feel seen, heard, and understood.
If you’re being listened to, as your sessions go by, you’ll feel like your therapist or coach has a cumulative understanding of what you’re sharing with them. So if you shared something about a conflict with a colleague last week and something new happened with that colleague the next week, you won’t feel like you’re starting over and having to deal with it. like who that colleague is.
Of course, your therapist or coach can ask clarifying questions or double-check the information — it takes time and effort to memorize all the details, especially if there are a lot of moving pieces. move! —But your therapist or coach should approach these conversations with interest and curiosity, based on their knowledge of your experience and what you’ve said before, and Time helps you develop a sense of trust. And you will be able to sense that all of this is happening.
You should never feel left out, judged, or embarrassed for anything you share with your therapist or coach.
Safety is an important factor in care, and it’s important that you feel safe sharing things with your doctor. Sometimes it takes time for this sense of security to develop, but again, trust your gut: if you don’t feel safe sharing after a few sessions, it might not be. is the most suitable way. During your first few sessions, ask yourself:
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Do you feel as though you are creating a safe space together to explore your needs, your pain, your celebration, and your goals?
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Do you believe your supplier is listening to you and hearing what you are saying?
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Are you curious about your identity, needs, goals, and experiences?
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Would you like to see this person again next week?
If you feel left out, judged, or embarrassed and as sessions go by, it seems like a safe space has been created for you, you, and your therapist or trainer. must be the best fit.
You should feel free to ask whatever comes to mind
Developing this sense of comfort, sociability, and rapport can take time and it’s very difficult to become truly vulnerable to others, so feelings of discomfort, challenge, and stress This is completely normal and does not mean that your supplier is necessarily suitable. But you want to get to a place where you’re comfortable enough to ask the questions you have to ask to get the support you need.
The way a provider answers your questions can vary widely according to their technique, style, personality, and background, but it’s another way you can tell if you and your therapist or coach whether or not your coach is a good fit — if their technique or background suits your personality and communication style, opens the door so you can ask questions without feeling like you are holding back anything or suffer from performance anxiety.
Your own needs may change over time, and a therapist or coach is right for you right now but not the best fit for you.
Right now you may be looking for help developing action items and clear next steps to achieve your goals while later, as you integrate the behaviors you have developed development, you may want to go deeper and explore how your behavior patterns develop or what may have happened in your past to shape how you approach obstacles in your life — or vice versa!
Just as there is no right way to experience therapy or coaching, there may be no right way for you to get support as you navigate your life. It is extremely important to be able to have an open and transparent conversation with a therapist or coach about your needs and how you are being supported, so finding a provider that is right for you at one point in your life can help you establish a relationship you’ll be able to rely on if your needs start to change.
If you’re having doubts, concerns, or thoughts about questions, see if you can challenge yourself to talk about them with your therapist or coach. Their reactions can show whether the relationship is still appropriate.
Remember that developing a good relationship with your therapist or coach will take time
If a session goes by and you wonder what you said during the session, whether therapy or coaching is right for you, or whether you are making progress, know that it is. completely normal. The healing and growth that happens in therapy and training takes time.
“I encourage you to think of it more like an education than a pill or an instant bandage solution,” MyWellbeing Founder and CEO said Alyssa Petersel in a recent SmallTalk on MyWellbeing’s Instagram. “You’re not going to go to an advanced math class and assume you’ll get a PhD in calculus later. You can predict that it could take months or years. It may take a combination of self-teaching, guidance from professors, work hours, and group study with your friends to truly gain the tools, tips, perspective, and expertise. about that document. ”
“Similarly, especially if you’re doing one of the first times in therapy, depending on your experience and the things you’re decompressing, if it took you decades to build some model and this tendency and to have accumulated some of these experiences, it will take time to unpack them, develop chemistry, trust and a relationship with your therapist or coach, have gain insights from that relationship and start having ‘aha’ moments and realizations or maybe noticing that you’re actually reacting differently to different stressors during your day Friend. “
So, how can I tell if the relationship is a good fit or if I’m making progress?
If you’re still looking for a therapist or coach, doing some work ahead of time to make sure you’re in good shape can help. Eg, MyWellbeing’s Matching Process consider:
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Logical factors such as fees, location and availability
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Technical (e.g. would you benefit more from working with someone who uses a specific, goal-oriented approach or a more flexible, insight-driven approach?)
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Personality factors (such as extroversion, warmth and outspokenness, etc.)
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Expertise (make sure a therapist or coach specializes in working with relevant demographics and issues)
After you’ve worked with a therapist or coach for a while, harness your sense of curiosity and practice mindfulness to gauge how you’ve improved—it’s important to have faith in yourself. self! When faced with stressors that have been a barrier for you in the past, do you think you are reacting in a way that is more beneficial to you? You’ll probably notice that there’s a little more space between your trigger and your response. You’ll probably find yourself a little less irritable. Maybe your relationships are getting stronger. Maybe your ability to focus or your sense of satisfaction has increased.
These changes may not be dramatic or sudden, but if you exercise curiosity over time, you will be able to notice even subtle improvements in your life that you will be able to make. Connect to your relationship with the therapist or coach and the work you’re doing together.
And if you need more help, We’ve put together the ultimate guide to getting started with therapy and training, breaks down the process and gives you the resources you need to get the support you deserve.
