How to deal with the loss of a pet (and explain it to your kids!)

A few weeks ago we said goodbye to Bambi– Your family dog ​​and my best friend for almost 18 years. She has lived an extraordinary life and will always be considered my first child. We grew up together and along the way she taught me a lot about responsibility. She is my steady and constant companion. After having a baby, Liam and Norah gradually fall in love with Bambi, and although she tends to avoid them at times, she also comes to love them — especially at mealtimes. We always joke that Bambi went deaf at the exact moment… when the babies were born! Despite her age, I never wanted to think about how to deal with the loss of a pet — I loved her too much.

But 18 years is a long time for a dog, and watching it grow up isn’t as easy as you might imagine. After a long deliberation, my husband and I decided it was time to say goodbye and let her go peacefully. While I was prepared for what this experience would be like for me, I was unsure of how to explain what was happening to our very young children. So here are some ways I can navigate this difficult experience. Hopefully these tips on how to cope with the loss of a pet can also help when challenging times come.

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We decided to bring Bambi to our home with a hospice Love wheeland they’ve provided me with some great resources to help with the experience. Since my kids are quite young and can’t communicate their emotions yet, we used a coloring book and a very simple statement: Bambi’s body doesn’t work anymore and tomorrow she will. to heaven. Lap of Love made a ceramic casting for Bambi’s feet that we shared with the children.

It’s been a few weeks and the kids are still asking about Bambi, so I thought it would be good to reach out to a few child therapists to see if they have any suggestions on how to manage this transition. I know I’m not the only one going through an experience like this, so if you’re dealing with the loss of a pet and young children, I hope these tips are helpful to you as well.

Advice from child therapists

Rebecca Kason (PsyD) and Yasmin Henning are two child therapists who were kind enough to offer some advice on how to help young children cope with this loss. Here are some tips that have really had a positive impact on my kids.

“First and foremost, explain what happened in a simple, clear, understandable way,” says Kason. “Don’t complicate it! Something as simple as Bambi passed away and she won’t come back. There’s no need to over-explain or give a complicated story. Words can also confuse children, so be sure to use clear, gentle language. Encourage your child to ask questions and be open, honest, clear, direct, and concise with your answers. Do not provide any additional information beyond what has been asked. ”

Another tip from Henning is to embrace all emotions. She outlines: “Children have all kinds of reactions when they learn about the death of a beloved pet. “Some will cry and can be very upset or they just don’t seem to react at all. Some may bombard you with questions. Every feeling is fine. Answer their questions and be with them through these feelings. ”

But the most important thing to remember is that all of your feelings as a parent are fine. As Henning explains. “It’s okay to be sad and even cry in front of your children. You can tell them, ‘I’m feeling sad right now. I really miss Bambi. ‘ It’s okay for children to witness a wide range of emotions and even important. You’re showing them that it’s okay to have these big emotions and they’ll get through it.”

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If you or someone you know is going through a similar experience, feel free to reach out and chat! My DMs @brandyjoysmith available if you are looking for support during this difficult time.