For many of us, childhood is a time in our lives filled with moments of nostalgia and joyous. And so many moments in our early years are moments we dream of reproducing for our own children. Of course, there are other moments that we want to leave in the past. It was in contemplating these truths that I became curious and began to practice the concept of gentle parenting.
What we remember from childhood greatly influences the way we parent. It’s safe to say that every generation of parenting is different, and some generations in the past can make you cringe today. New studies on how to raise your children appear daily and honestly we are all working with the best information we have at any given time.
Featured image of Teal Thomsen.
One of my favorite parenting coaches, Destini Ann, there is a quote that has always guided my parenting methods: “If anyone is your family expert, it’s you.” And while I believe that, I also feel extremely pressured to do a good job. Usually, I find myself caught in the trap of thinking children’s behavior tied to my motherhood values. Seriously – I get goosebumps every time my kids act out in public.
Even though I know she’s a child, I still feel ashamed and disappointed in myself when things don’t go my way.
I have learned my personal parenting journey that half the job is raising myself, recognizing my triggers and understanding my values and boundary to be. I have also learned to show my children empathy and respect within these boundaries. This is part of the gentle parenting concept.
For a better, more comprehensive understanding of gentle parenting, I spoke with Dr. Becky Kennedya clinical psychologist and founder Good inside. Dr. Kennedy talked to me about how this concept has informed her own parenting philosophy, Good Inside Parenting. She says, “Good Inside Parenting assumes that people are doing the best they can with the resources they have at the time.
“When kids are in trouble, we don’t see them as bad kids doing bad things, but as good kids struggling.”
“This changes the mindset about how we intervene — from punitive behavior and skill building to behavior change. And let me be clear: there is nothing ‘soft’ about the Good Inside approach; We show parents how to be strong leaders, set firm boundaries, and withstand their child’s objections and objections.”
With that background to guide us, let’s dive deeper into gentle parenting — and how you can start practicing on your own.
What is gentle parenting?
Gentle parenting is exactly what: a kinder and gentler way of parenting. By definition, it means parenting without shame, blame, or punishment. It is cooperation between the parties and follow ParentsBoth caregivers and children have a say in this collaborative style.
While there are many ways to explain it, in my opinion, gentle parenting is about communicating with your children and treating them as unique individuals, not an extension of yourself. .
How do I start practicing gentle parenting?
Now that we’ve defined gentle parenting, you may be wondering where to start. The good news is that Dr. Becky says it’s never too late to start. “The right time to change is always now. Change works best when we make it easy and manageable. There are simple steps parents can take that have a huge impact in their home.”
7 key gentle parenting tips
- Put empathy first. Remember your child is not a robot that can only follow commands. Put yourself in their shoes and the rest will follow.
- Set age-appropriate boundaries. What your child is capable of doing compared to what you think they should do.
- Add reason to your boundaries. “Because I said so” is not good enough, anymore!
- Be flexible. Balance your rules and boundaries with leniency so your child doesn’t think things are off limits.
- Use your words. Raising your voice is often a good practice when punishing your children, however, gentle parenting recommends using better words to get your point across.
- Help them learn from their mistakes. If they’re wrong, make sure to teach them what to do and reward them accordingly. Sanctions actions, not children.
- Connect with your child. Try and ignore the defense that you are an adult and that they are inferior. Cooperation over compliance.
How effective is gentle parenting?
Time to get down to the hard stuff — does this technique work? After all, being soft with your kids can definitely lead to bad behavior for a reason, right? Incorrect. Dr. Becky says there’s a misconception that “focusing on children’s emotional lives is ‘soft’ – this couldn’t be more wrong.”
She continued, “we feel before we think and so focusing on emotions is all about helping people from where their troubles started. This focus is logical, practical and effective.
“[Gentle Parenting] believes in boundaries, limits, and work — for both parents and children. We teach parents how to exercise their power while showing their children’s empathy and respect. You can be tough and warm, you can be kind and disciplined, you can set rules and be empathetic.”
As always, my opinion is my own and how you choose to raise your children is entirely up to you! However, I hope this article has helped you see the value of gentle parenting, and even if you haven’t completely changed, perhaps you can incorporate some aspects of it into your own. his daily.
