Family. Couple. Children. The lucky one prepares the mess officially known as taxes. These are all relationships where we know that work is imperative and there is an equal expectation that the deal is, in ways small and forgettable or large and important, transactional. One for here, one for later. A stream, chasing a tape.
Friendshipon the other hand, tends to be accompanied by a forecast of clear skies and mild sunshine. Perhaps most of any relationship that causes us (and sometimes breaks), there is an expectation that the relationship we have with our friends is one that should be explicitly open. There is no road. No weight. No routine work.
When we all know that’s not the case.
Take your real example. As my friend, ooh, that’s a number Work. A lot of people know that I will reply to that message within 3-14 business days and in the meantime you should not take it personally. He knows I’m neurotic and only able to write with one type of pen — my neurosis sometimes prompts me to go all the way to my parked car to retrieve the aforementioned pen from a storage I keep in my blackboard. driver, in case of an emergency pen -loss, before signing my share of the brunch bill. That’s when I get a funny TikToks, I feel weird pulling apart and seem to want to hug strongly when I’m too hurt or stunned or stubborn to accept love gently. It’s seeing me do very, very silly things that you guys have been very, very, very, very supportive of. It’s about mastering the graceful balance of knowing when to be inquisitive and when I’ll never forgive you and, many have argued it’s also one way, too much Mariah Carey.
The love we have for these types of people is sharp and deep, loyal and sharp. Maybe that’s why we don’t always see or feel that it really needs and deserves elbow grease.
My friends know these things about me because they took the time. And effort — because even I know that I’m a foot and a half, four inches tall of a finishing man. They may have been sitting around waiting for what I thought I’d responded to (and I’m so sorry for that) and certainly were waiting for me on a dinner date when work held me and kept me and made me being late (sorry for that, too). They know how to say nice things or towards me because words are my love language. They know if I call, it’s an emergency, and they’re – my God, I hope they know – are the guardians of my life.
Few relationships are capable of leaving such a profound mark on our lives as friendship.
The love we have for these types of people is sharp and deep, steady and sharp. Maybe that’s why we don’t always see or feel that it really needs and deserves elbow grease. As one of the greatest loves in our lives, these connections require all the secrecy of any other meaningful partnership in life. They ask for some weird commits. Compromise, sorry, grateful. A fan club that’s passionate, honest (even if it’s scary and nasty), and the trust you’ll put in your work sometimes, in their turn, and most of the time, both of you will pitch in to make a fuss in a way that only the best of friendships can. In a way it’s work that never really feels like work.
April (Swinson) Smasal spent her formative years in Wyoming, where her career options were limited to queen or rodeo writer. Facing the lure of an impressive belt collection, she chose from thing. Now, she’s a copywriter and writer-writer living in St. Paul, Minnesota with her husband, Nick, the boy Hank Danger and the cute French Bulldog Arnold E. Biscuits.
