Recapping the Phillip Island MotoGP with Boris

MotoGP 2022 – Round 18 – Phillip Island

On Thursday afternoon, most of Turn Three was underwater. The pace car looked decidedly boat-like trying to make its way through. Record rainfall had been falling across Victoria, there was flooding everywhere, and Phillip Island was no exception.

I had arrived Wednesday morning. It was raining. And it kept raining all that day, all that night, and all of the next day as well. Some champion had decided to essay the field beside the field where the bikes are usually parked in his 4WD HiLux. He made it to the middle of the paddock. The vehicle was still there when I left on Sunday afternoon.

You might also note there were almost no penalties for exceeding track limits. The riders were doubtlessly aware that anything that wasn’t track was swamp. They stayed studiously on the track.

And for their care and attention, Phillip Island delivered what is easily the most exciting race of the year. I was over-stimulated as it was. I had been given a Media Pass and a P1 parking sticker. I had been anointed.

In the decades I had been coming to the island, I had never had such access. I was deemed unworthy of such by the people I was working for at the time. I was certainly worthy of working for free on their Expo stand from dawn until dusk, but the free media sandwiches, coffee, soft drinks, and access to the pits and pit-lane…well, they were for people more important than me.

And while I am still entirely unimportant in the great and glorious circus that is the MotoGP, this year my access was without equal. And I made the best of it – fan-boying like a lunatic. Trevor said he had never seen a man whore himself with such ferocious abandon – and he’s probably right. 

Below the media centre, where I rested in between frenzied wanderings and selfie-takings, things were graveyard serious.

This was the third-to-last race. The championship hung on a knife’s edge. Fabulous led by the smallest of margins, Pecco was close behind him, Aleix was also too close for comfort, and both Jack and the Beast were mathematical possibilities. You could easily feel the tension.

On Saturday, Jack had a corner named after him. Turn Four, previously called “Honda” since the time of Christ, was renamed Miller Corner. A bunch of mewling shit-trumpets immediately declared Jack was not worthy of having a corner named after him because he’d not won a championship.

I’m of the view that since these trumpets had also not won a championship, or even ridden a MotoGP bike, they should STFU. If you’ve stood half-a-metre away from a MotoGP bike merely being started (maybe exploded into life is more apt), and then you jump on that bike and take it racing at 350 km/h, naming a corner after you is the least you deserve.

The grid was somewhat strange. Practices had all been dry, but it was not warm. And everyone was being weird about tyres. You’ve probably worked out the tyres fall off the adhesion cliff if they lose temperature. That’s what the concern was. No-one was to know Sunday was relatively warm, and so a few last-minute changes happened on the grid.

Jorge Martin was on pole. Marc Marquez was beside him, and Pecco finished off the front row. Aleix, Fabulous, and Zarco were the second row, and Luca Marini, Jack Miller, and Mario Bezzecchi, filled out the third.

The sea of Ducatis was evident again, but Marquez certainly looked very threatening. Aleix? Well, I’d said the wheels of his championship bus had fallen off a few rounds ago, and a fast Qualifying lap does not a fast race make.

It was downright balmy when the lights went out and Martin arrowed off into the lead, pursued closely by Marc and Pecco…and everyone else. That’s the thing with Phillip Island. That’s what makes it such a great track when the riders are all almost as fast as each other. The racing is guaranteed to be furious – and it was all that and more.

Fabulous was looking awkward almost right from the get-go. He ran wide on Miller Corner, and found himself wedged in fourth behind Aleix Espargaro. Jack was back in eighth, and in the very early stages, as the grid sorted itself out after not having been at the Island for three years, it almost looked like Martin and Pecco were going to make a break. That was an optical illusion. They were not getting away. The two slow corners, Miller and MG would simply concertina the pack up every lap. Aleix had a crack at Pecco for third, Miller was savagely aggressive with Marini for sixth, then hosed Fabulous and grabbed fifth. 

Rins, who had started in 10^th, was now in 11^th, and no-one was paying him any mind, because it was so close at the front. But in this race, 11^th was barely a second off the leaders.

Miller easily grabbed fourth place from Aleix, while Fabulous ceded seventh to Marini, and then ran wide again in Turn Four. He re-emerged on the track third-last behind Morbidelli. 

Jack was on fire. He passed Pecco in MG for third, but Pecco fought back immediately, and despite this battle, the two of them were right on the wheels of Marc and Martin at the front.

Rins now began to work – and what a display he put on. He scythed through the field, passing both Marini and Marquez Junior with arrogant ease. Miller had finally grabbed third off Pecco, but Pecco managed to slipstream him down the straight and grab it back into Turn One. 

You almost didn’t know where to look. Riders were passing each other Moto3 style, but I was rivetted by Rins, who had now passed Aleix for fifth spot.

I was watching the race with the Spanish media contingent, and they were screaming and howling and banging the table like frenzied beasts. I fit right in. The only ones making as much noise were the Italians. But the Spanish weren’t sure who to cheer for. Marquez was their God, but Rins was being spectacular.

Fabulous had worked his way up to 19, but his championship effort this round was well past the S-bend. He crashed out a few laps later. 

Rins was hunting Miller for fourth spot, and once again, Southern Loop proved to be the place for him. He sliced past Jack and set off in pursuit of the leaders.

Amazingly, the whole field was still quite together after eight laps, but only Rins was showing his balls at this point. He went past Pecco on the next lap in, you guessed it, Southern Loop. 

Bezzecchi was also beginning to make his move, and had worked his way into fifth past Jack and Aleix – and I was pretty sure his screen was full of NO PASSING PECCO messages. 

And this is when Alex Marquez rammed Jack, and took him out of the race, and the championship. On Miller Corner, in front of his family and fans, Alex Marquez shit-gibboned into the back of Jack’s bike. Jack did not even know what hit him.

That would be the second time Marquez Junior has cost Jack a shot at a world championship. And he is fortunate we are all such well-mannered people. He’s copped a Long Lap Penalty next race, but that is really neither here nor there. He should have been lashed with wet ropes.

The accident enabled six riders to make a bit of a gap on the field, and Martin still led from Marquez, Rins, Pecco, Aleix, and Bezzecchi. 

But he did not lead for much longer. Rins passed Marquez into Turn One, and was instantly monstering Martin. Behind them, Pecco also tried a pass on Marquez into Turn One, but Marc out-braked him. And then Bezzecchi turned up to chew on Pecco as well. Like I said, you didn’t know where to look. 

Once again, Rins used Southern Loop to pass Martin, but Martin fought back, and Rins had to wait for Miller Corner to make a pass that stuck. Marquez grabbed second right then too. 

Bezzecchi was also turning up the heat. He grabbed fourth place, and saw that Pecco was now trying even harder when the Factory Ducati rider took the lead at the end of the main straight. By Turn Four, Rins was back in fourth place. Was he done? Hell, no. He was then suddenly third. 

Now Pecco led from Marc, Rins, Bezzecchi, and Martin. But no-one was getting away from anyone else. You could sense Rins wanted this so badly. He was hunting Marquez down like a rabbit. It was crazy to watch. With nine laps to go, one-point-eight seconds separated the first ten riders.

On the next lap, Martin and Marquez swapped places, and Rins went past Pecco into Turn Three and took back the lead. Bezzecchi shot past Marquez for a brief stint in third – and the Spaniards around me were losing their minds. 

Pecco again passed Rins, as did Bezzecchi, with Marquez close behind them all. I had to remember to breathe in-between screaming “Puta!” at the screen along with the Spaniards.

And it went like this all the way to the last lap. I lost count of how many times so-and-so passed so-and-so. It was amazing to see.

At the end of the race, Rins went over the line first. A tiny 0.18 seconds behind him came Marc Marquez, and 0.244 Pecco Bagnaina. Jorge Martin, who crossed the line in eighth, was just 0.884 shy of the winner.

These are numbers you usually see in a Moto3 race.

Pecco now leads the championship as we head to Malaysia this weekend. I’m going to need to triple the towels on the couch.

2022 Phillip Island MotoGP Race Results

MotoGP Championship Points Standings

2022 MotoGP Calendar