Animal

Petting, cuddling, cuddling your pet? Yes, you need consent


  • Not a substitute for professional veterinary help.

My husband once accidentally dropped a box of pad thai on the floor. Our Schipperke, Fiver, hurriedly took a sip of the noodles, then dashed off. We laughed so hard, we fought over the food we stole from his mouth. But we were also stunned. He usually knows to wait for permission before diving into a drop.

We teach our pets a lot about permission — even if it’s sometimes unacceptable, Fiver? For example, we can teach the dog to sit and stay until told otherwise, or not to jump on furniture unless invited. We think nothing of training them this way.

But we often think of receiving pet’ permission — in the form of consent to cuddle, pet, groom, or visit the vet? Indeed, our pets have their own way of communicating their preferences and training we. We just need to pay careful attention.

Julia Jenkins, a dog trainer in the UK and founder of Dog training today.

Just as consent is vital to safe, healthy, and respectful human-to-human relationships, it is also important to human-animal relationships. Jenkins adds: “Getting consent from our pets may seem like a silly concept, but it’s actually a very important part of being a responsible pet owner. “

Pets may still be considered property in some places, but awareness of pet ownership, their individuality and where appropriate, their right to choose, is increasing, as we see in the past. recently research and posts on topic.

We asked experts, like Jenkins and others, for more insight on the topic of pet consent.

cat leaning on a man's forearm looking for a pet

iStock / Linda Raymond

What does “consent” mean in our relationship with pets?

One of the most common things we do with our pets is touch them. After all, they’re cute, soft, and kissable, and they offer a lot appease in our lives. But the agreement to the important issues.

“If a dog is upset, tired or just wants some alone time, we should happily accept it if they don’t want to be around,” says Linda Simona veterinarian in the UK.

It’s okay for our pets to not want to be touched or held, and responsible pet parents will accept their pet’s choice.

If you try to interact with your pet, but your best friend walks away or shrinks, it means they just need some space. Dr. Simon recommends petting when your dog or cat is not in the kennel so they have the option to change their surroundings if they want to.

Initiation can help you assess your pet’s consent. “This means waiting for them to come to you for petting and petting, instead of going to them,” explains Jenkins. Even if your pet begins to interact, remember that consent will not take place.

Jenkins recommends pausing every 5 seconds while petting to make sure your dog or cat is still enjoying the attention. “If they want more,” she adds, “they will make it clear by nudging you or relying on your touch.”

Young woman with her toy poodle in the park together

iStock / Edwin Tan

Learn your pet’s consent guidelines

Every pet will be a little different, but there are a few common signs to keep your pet out of the way.

Is your pet saying no?

Cats

  • their feathers
  • eyes wide
  • harden their beards
  • flatten their ears
  • arch their backs
  • hissed
  • stroke their paws at you
  • bow
  • stiff their tail at its base

Dog

  • turn your head
  • flatten their ears
  • yawn
  • lick their lips
  • shift their weight away from you
  • growl, growl, grump
  • freeze

“Always let the dog move away if they feel overwhelmed,” says Jenkins. “Forcing them to be in a situation they are uncomfortable with can lead to anxiety and stress, both of which are bad for your relationship.”

But your pet may not respond with a “no” behavior. Just like people, some pets will freeze to death when they are in a situation they are not comfortable with. “Remember, just because they don’t say no,” explains Jenkins, “doesn’t mean they say yes.”

You should be able to notice some common signs that your pet wants affection.

a dog leaning on a pet's head gently

iStock / Nataba

Your pet is saying yes

Cats

  • jump gently
  • mold you
  • chase you by shoving their face into your hand
  • curse you

Dog

  • put their feet in your hands
  • nudge you with their nose
  • rely on you
  • relax your ears and wag your tail
  • rest their chin on you

Pet consent for strangers, visitors and children

As our trusted pet sitters, it’s our responsibility to ensure that others respect our pets’ boundaries. Dr Simon says: “Never should a stranger or visitor assume your dog could be a pet. “They should ask you and then ‘ask’ the dog.” If an interaction is acceptable to you, she asks the person to slowly raise their hand for your pet to sniff. Your pet will invite further interaction or not.

Teaching children about consent can prevent bites, scratches, or other injuries from a surprised or frightened dog or cat. More often than not, parents who teach children to ask dog owners if they can pet their dog, Jenkins adds. But that’s not the same as getting a pet’s consent.

You may even want to demonstrate to your child how to invite your pet to interact and then How to respond if the invitation is accepted. For example, cats may dislike belly rubs and touching their paws, but often prefer gentle caresses on their backs or scratches behind their ears.

It is important that you be an advocate for your pet and set boundaries with those who want to touch them.

Remember, just because someone asks doesn’t mean you have to let them interact with your pet. Jenkins adds: “It’s important to be an advocate for your dog and to set boundaries with people who want to touch them. “Be aware of your surroundings and your dog’s body language. If you are unsure, it is best to proceed with caution and end the interaction. “

And consent has nothing to do with forcing a pet to play with someone or another dog or cat. “This is a recipe for disaster, as your dog can be very anxious and may react in a negative way,” explains Dr. Simon.

Sanja Radin

Woman holding a dog to train her dog

iStock / Sanja Radin

Training with consent

You can also use consent as a key feature in your training sessions to help build trust with your pet. To do so, select positive reinforcement techniqueveterinarians and animal behaviorists say, Dr. Paola Cuevaswho was trained in Mexico but worked in many countries.

The animal-trainer relationship is built on trust.

“Animals perform behaviors and participate because they want to win,” explains Dr. Cuevas, and “the animal-trainer relationship is built on trust.”

Positive reinforcement is usually done with snacks as a reward for learning a command. But you can too reward with compliments and caressesthe latter if your pet is interested, of course.

A young couple hanging out together, drinking coffee on their doorstep, relaxing and petting a cat

iStock / kali9

Agree with Groomers and Vets

One of the more complicated aspects of pet consent is the need to visit sometimes groomer or veterinarian in the pet’s best interests but may cause discomfort to them.

Here are some important things to keep in mind.

Grooming

When it comes to grooming, Jenkins recommends starting with short sessions first and gradually increasing the time as your pet gets used to it. Your pet may indicate the need to rest and then let the groomer — or you, if you do it yourself — continue.

Positive reinforcement techniques can help an anxious pet get used to a groomer or veterinarian.

“Use positive reinforcement to make your dog’s experience as pleasant as possible,” she says. “If your dog refuses to groom, don’t force them. This will only make the experience more unpleasant for both of them and may make them more resistant in the future. “

Veterinary visit

For vet visits, pet owners and veterinarians all hope for the same thing, which is for pets to feel comfortable during their visit.

“However, we need to do these things for the sake of our dog’s health,” says Dr. Simon of routine checkups and vaccinations. Finally, your pet may need to be examined, even if they’re not quite up to it.

However, you can use positive reinforcement techniques to help your pet get used to the vet. For example, if you live near your vet clinic, pop in from time to time while walking your dog to get a treat from the front desk. The vet may also spend some time trying to get your pet’s consent at the start of the appointment.

To find a veterinarian proficient in working with clients anxiety or stress at the clinicFind a Free or Professional Certified Practice in your area.

Woman sitting with her cat and dog on backyard balcony, drinking coffee.

iStock / RuslanDashinsky

Exceptions to consent

Our pets are curious individuals who may not be aware of the dangers we face every day. Making choices for our pets may be required in the pet’s best interest. Pulling on a leash to keep your dog from wandering off into traffic, or swooping in to grab an indoor cat darting out the door are all just part of being a parent. Responsible pets.

And while they may be less enjoyable for our pets, regular vet visits and, for some breeds, trips to the groomer, can help our pets. live longer, healthier.

In the case of a pinched pad, we had to pry it out of the Fiver’s mouth – this, of course, after asking to “drop it”. Fiver simply craved our meal and he wouldn’t give it up. But we made it too spicy for his sensitive stomach and respiratory condition, and we needed to intervene for the sake of his health and safety.

I want to believe he has forgiven me for not sharing our dinner. And in retrospect, it’s unpredictable moments like these that define our relationship with our pets and remind us what we’ll do to protect them.

Of course, the image of Fiver with more noodles hanging from his body than he could ever hope to eat still elicits a chuckle.

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