Yugeta shows what happens when we think differently. Her story follows up with the author’s research Daniel Pink, who spent the early part of the coronavirus pandemic helping to carry out a massive quantitative analysis of regret – a common theme during the period. his website, World Regret Surveycollected more than 19,000 regrets from people in 105 countries.
Among the most common regrets people recount, as described in a recent book by Mr. Pink, “The Power of Regret: How Looking Back Moves Us Forward”, is “not pursuing a college education (or not taking it seriously), turning down the chance to travel and missing out on the opportunity.” last chance to connect with loved ones.” Another common thread: don’t end a bad marriage Mr. Pink’s findings suggest that we tend to regret what we’ve done. Psychologists call it “omission regret,” as opposed to “commission regret.” Mostly, we regret it because played it safe.
It’s ironic, considering the lengths we have to go through to stop feeling regret. All the effort we put into avoiding risk and discomfort can have the opposite effect of the effect we seek. As Mr. Pink wrote, self-exclusive use Positive emotions inhibit growth. It is our negative feelings that motivate us to change.
“We need a lot of positive emotion in our portfolio. Mr. Pink wrote. “However, overemphasizing our emotional investments with too much positivity carries its own perils. An imbalance can inhibit learning, stymie growth, and limit our potential. That’s because negative emotions are also essential. They help us survive.”
Mr. Pink’s findings describe life as an endless decision tree where we are forced to choose a path to the exclusion of all others. As discovered in the recently released film “Anything Anywhere Anytime“The result can feel like a multiverse of lives we haven’t lived.
Joshua Rothman discussed a similar idea in a 2020 essay for The New Yorker, “What if you could do it all?“” We live insecure lives for all sorts of reasons: because we make choices; because society binds us; because events force our hands; above all, because we are individuals, becoming more and more so over time,” wrote Mr. Rothman. “Even when we regret that we haven’t become who we are, we still value who we are. We seem to find meaning in what has never happened.”
Yugeta told me about a branching point on her own tree. “When I was young, I wanted to go to the Olympics,” she told me. “My regret for not going to the Olympics is that to get there, you have to be number one in Japan, and I’m not.” She falls to an opponent she usually beats, who eventually earns the spot on the Olympic team that Yugeta coveted.
