However, we make it clear that both children can have privacy but no secret. Whatever they do on their phones, we’re allowed to see. Alpern agrees that although young people with disabilities have privacy in social and digital contexts, as all children do, “the burden of vigilance tends to fall more heavily on the parents of children with disabilities; they may need to monitor their child’s online communication more closely because of the increased risk of social isolation, exposure to hateful messages, and cyberbullying.”
Learn How to use parental controls and other privacy and security settings gives you the ability to approve or completely restrict apps, games, or other materials that you’re not ready to explain to your child.
One thing that we never restricted was their ability to call or text my dad and me. Their phones have become a fun way for them to stay connected with their parents. (May it always be like that!)
Ensuring inclusion and accessibility
Getting a phone for a young disabled child can feel intimidating, but Heitner says that “even children’s phones have limitations, so there are many great reasons to use iPhones and other devices.” other smartphones to avoid isolation, especially for children with influenza epidemic increasing isolation . ”
Jordan from Bark reminds me that the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) paved the way for tech companies to level the playing field, and now, she says, “iPhone (and millions of apps kids can use) access) opens a world of possibilities to children with disabilities.”
My daughter’s disability is neurological, which means her motor skills are affected, as well as her speech, motor skills and development. She and I learned a few things about her iPhone 12 to make her life more inclusive and fun.
For example, she likes predictive text. She often has one of the following important things to say to me: I need help, please come, I’m hungry, I’m done feeding, I hurt my leg, I have to pee, where’s the cat, I dropped my doll, I miss you, call me, and now, where is the charger? She figured out how to record herself with audio messages and text me the recording when she has something longer or more complicated to say to someone. Super easy for stubborn fingers.
It took Siri a while to learn her voice and manner of speaking, but she was finally able to say “Hey Siri, call Mama on speaker!” and “Hey Siri, play ‘Hot and Cold’ by Katy Perry Again! With free apps like MarcoPolo she can chat continuously with people without calling them in the middle of the day. And my daughter loves the filters and effects as much as the next 10 year old. Now that she’s a tech-savvy kid who uses the Messenger and FaceTime apps with ease, she’s taught patient people like her Nana how to transform into a unicorn memoji with a tongue purple sparkles, cyborg voices and animation effects, and they could keep the conversation going that way for an hour.
What works for another child may not work for you
No one knows a child better than their parents. “Remember, it’s about finding the right content, knowing your child and your child’s needs, and providing advice and guidance,” says Heitner. Every family’s technology needs are different, and each child’s family can mentor and supervise in a way that works for them. Alper suggests getting your child with a disability to make proactive and reflective choices that work for them (e.g., enter data about where to charge their phone in the house overnight and think about how they would feel there). school if they get a better night’s sleep).
In our family, for example, one of our children’s phones has stricter rules than the other. A phone “sleeps” more, and individual apps “sleep” more too. Both of our kids have iPhones, so we have to know Device Time and Downtime functions in Settings. (Android users have Digital Wellbeing, among other options.) Decide if you want to allow in-app purchases and if you want password-protected downloads. We have to make it clear that even though, yes, it’s her phone, she still needs to get permission to call.
Responsibility is shared, but who has the final say?
Kyle Keane is a faculty member of assistive technology in the electrical engineering and computer science departments at MIT. She is also visually impaired. “The amount of time people spend on screens is not a concern to me,” she said. “What people are doing on their devices is really important. I carry a white cane to help with navigation due to my visual impairment. I have been trained to use this cane to detect objects and to socially signal to people that I am visually impaired. Using a cane all day affects my sense of self and changes the way I interact with the world. If no one had taught me to use this technology responsibly and effectively, I would have developed a habit of hitting people with it to keep them away from me. “
Keane’s point is the tongue in the cheek, but clear. It’s a shared responsibility, but ultimately, it’s up to us as parents to keep the phone from transitioning from a healthy way of connecting with others to becoming a screen. I do not punish. I don’t take the phone away. If something bad happens in our home, I know that the finger is pointed at me, not at my children.
