I asked Amazon to show me really expensive devices and oh my god

Spare a thought for the money.

Or for those who just have to spend a lot for Latest gadgetsjust to feel, well, something.

They have the right to spend money any way they choose and online shopping is always ready to assist them.

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I also want to support them. So I tried to put myself in the mind of these more noble types of people, to discover what happens when you ask Amazon to show you not the good value stuff, but the expensive stuff. money.

Oh dear

So I typed “expensive equipment” into the little Amazon search box and pretended to have no money. When it comes to the object of technological desire, that is.

What can Amazon evoke? The short answer to that is a mistake.

But you’re not here to answer briefly, are you? You are here to indulge in life’s vast choices.

So let me tell you that Amazon’s idea of ​​an expensive device is “Pure Tineco One S15 Smart Pet Cordless Vacuum, Sticky Vacuum with Anti-Tangle Brush, Deep Clean Hard Floors and Carpets, Clean Pet Hair with Led Headlight, Wi-Fi Connection.”

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I was immediately lifted, of course. Who doesn’t dream of a vacuum cleaner with headlights and Wi-Fi connectivity? Don’t you always vacuum in the dark? I do. And all of this for $499.99, which is the very definition of an expensive device.

Then I focused. This is not a real Amazon recommendation. This is a sponsored ad “based on how relevant the product is to your search query.”

I question Amazon’s ability to create an ad algorithm that is relevant to the real world, for example.

Expensive, but for sale

I will not live, however. There’s a lot more fun here.

Amazon’s own first recommendation is “Unistellar eVscope eQuinox — Smart Digital Reflecting Telescope — Computerized, Go to Mobile Astronomy for beginners and advanced users, adults or children – Comes with Tripod, Stand support Alt-Az and Control Application.”

It’s a bargain. It’s 33% off, which means it’s $1,999. Yes, definitely expensive.

Amazon is so keen that I should be tempted by a couple of $1,000 DJI drones, but I’m made of more stoic stuff. I was more attracted to “Charming 3D Osaki Ador 3-Step Zero Gravity Massage Ergonomics SL-Track Intelligent Voice Control Calf kneading massage (Taupe).”

Can you imagine someone paying $2,999 for a voice-controlled calf massager? I think I can, even if it’s dark brown.

Amazon also tried to sell me”2 meta quest — Advanced All-in-One Virtual Reality Headset — 128 GB Get Meta Quest 2 including GOLF+ and Space Pirate Trainer DX.”

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The mere idea of ​​a space pirate trainer included in the low $399 price tag was horribly appealing. Then I realized that I don’t know anyone who has one of these and no one has ever expressed an interest. I conclude this is a step from obsolescence.

Asking Amazon to supply expensive devices may have somewhat confused the algorithm.

It provides”Hiboy electric scooter KS4/KS4 ProUpgraded 500W Motor ( KS4 350W Version ), 19 mph 25 mile range (17 mile KS4 Version), 8″ & 10″ Tire Trolley, Folding Electric Commuter Scooter For adult (Optional Chair).” 25% off at an attractive price of $449.99.

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Besides that, “Hikmicro B1L . IR 160 x 120 IR thermal imaging camera with WiFi, 25Hz Refresh Rate, 3.2″ LCD Screen, 19200 Pixels Handheld Infrared Thermal Imager with High Temperature Alert.” However, this is $429.

It’s clear that Amazon’s algorithm doesn’t quite understand what kind of expensive gadgets might tempt me. It also doesn’t understand the concept of expensive.

Dear, dear, dear

As proof, I can present the fact that Amazon is keen to sell me their own brands. Well, in the middle of this expensive search. And no Amazon product is too expensive.

Sample: “Multi-Purpose Pliers — Multi-tool 12-in-1 Camping Pliers, Professional Camping Accessories Survival Equipment Compact Outdoor Multi-Tool.” Yours for $11.99, but it’s not exactly Gucci of utilities, right?

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As I scroll down, losing hope that the rich will find here anything that really touches them — oh, but how would I know? Rich people can be very strange — I was suddenly fascinated by something that looked like a gun.

This is “Stoeger XM1 Bullshark – .177 Caliber – Black Synthetic with Multi-Grip System and Buttstock Spacers.” Well, I can imagine that many people could mispronounce those last two words at once in an unfortunate way, but $479 for a gun even if it has “Olympic Accuracy.”

Then I concluded that Amazon still didn’t know me. It also doesn’t have a solid grasp on how to entice people in the mood to spend a fortune on a fancy device.

I actually feel the company’s algorithm is a bit desperate when at the bottom of the search page it suggests: “Air fryer cookbook for beginners: 1500 Delicious, quick and easy recipes at affordable prices | Tips & Tricks for Frying, Grilling, Roasting and Grilling.”

May pay? The whole purpose of this search, Amazon, is the opposite of that.