Boris regales, and enjoy the unique pleasures of the French GP

MotoGP 2022 – Round seven

SHARK Grand Prix de France with Boris

There’s nothing like a bunch of hot French chicks playing Can Can on a race grid, while 110,000 alcoholic French burn everything, and spin purpose-built engines until they explode. Welcome to Le Mans.

I’m sure I’m not the only race fan disappointed when Carmelo Ezpeleta opted out of the “Can” being held on the grid.

Dorna’s CEO has been known to join the races of any country hosting MotoGP, and I’m still trying to erase the image of him in lederhosen from my mind. But not now. I don’t blame him. Those high kicks would kill his ancient hamstring.

Around the grid, a crowd of energy flew and howled, and sang the best national anthem in the world, as the racers waited to start the fights. MotoGP is back in France with a vengeance. And with a brilliant Madness Season that can be even crazier than any that have come before.

Suzuki withdrew for the next year. Perhaps the €380 million fine the country faces for cheating in emissions testing has something to do with the decision. Either way, Hamamatsu’s departure turned the two riders into freelance agents seeking gigs the following year. One is a recent world champion, and the other is a faster racer, but has a history of collisions too often. Both would be great additions to any team.

In addition, a vague cheating scandal surrounding tire pressure emerged in the days leading up to the race. Looks like Pecco Bagnaia, and one or two others, ran their tire pressures to the minimum required.

Everyone knew about it, and there was talk of a gentleman’s agreement among the teams not to question it. I think it was Mat Oxley who first brought up the issue about it, so he might not be part of that deal.

Dorna made some annoying noises, Ducati waved and decided that next year there would be a standard pressure-testing system in place for every team.

We were told this would make it easier for everyone to comply because everyone is now using different tire pressure gauges, and maybe that’s why things look weird and infringing. Rule. Move along – nothing really to see… except Mir and Rins looking for work.

The shoulder camera is back, with Aleix Espargaro being chosen as the background for the camera. This has Pommie commentators raving about the brilliance of technology involved in fixing a small camera to a rider’s upper chest, thus giving us an unprecedented perspective on life. race. I shrug. Like millions of others. We’ve had POV photos of the riders for years now. Here’s the same thing from a slightly different angle.

God promised the race, but all the Free Practices and Qualifiers were dry. It rained a bit during the Moto3 race, which was flagged red and restarted. But by the time they started again, the track was dry and it was still sunny for the main event.

Practice saw a messy lap record… and then a free fall. The Beast was the first to break it, then crashed in ecstasy, no doubt. Almost immediately, Fabulous set up the first extra round 1, and Bagnaia finished better a few laps later. Then Zarco overtook it again, setting 1:30,537, and before you know it, the top ten drivers are all behind the old lap record.

Zarco also managed to get off the track at a phenomenal speed, straight through the gravel, then some air, and rejoin the track in a terrifying five seconds. During the race, Rins recreated this incredible feat…well, the first moment that saw him plunge vertically through gravel at 180km/h. He was unable to return to the track on two wheels, and rushed out. It broke my heart a little bit. He did a great job and was very close to the front as it went in a pear shape for him.

The grid looks relatively ordinary in terms of what we normally see. Bagnaia on pole, Miller beside him, and brand new and confident Aleix Espargaro, Aprilia’s current Golden Boy, finished third.

Fabulous was fourth, Beast was fifth, and Mir was sixth, where Zarco should not have suffered a penalty for making it difficult for Pol Esparagro in qualifying. Three net points cost the Frenchman dearly throughout the race.

Marquez? Well, he came in tenth. He had a collision during practice, and then he had a moment during the start of practice when a vicious tank attacker made him reach for his dick shoulder in pain. His warm-up was cut short so he could rest a bit.

The race itself, was amazing. Le Mans was a tough race to brake, hard to accelerate, and there were a lot of overzealous Frenchmen swarming around and shouting for the whole race. It must be a sensational buzz to race on it.

Both Bag and Jack got off to a killer start, so did Rins, who swam around a mess to get herself into third place. Fabulous dropped to eighth place after being caught in a crowd with Nakagami and Marquez.

Binder Senior lost one of his aero wings when Zarco nudged him, and to no one’s surprise, Maverick Vinales, who started 14th on the net despite showing some quick pace in Practice, died last at the end of the first round.

Binder Junior let Maverick go a little later, so he can continue his steady rookie season by once again reaching the end.

Ahead is Miller, Bag, Rins, a small clearing, then Beast, Mir and Aleix. Then it’s not. Rins escaped the gravel at his high speed, and it seems that Bagnaia is faster than Miller, and he is being followed by a fast looking Beast who is currently third after Rins fell, with the stiff Mir at the tail.

Fabulous is also moving forward and making the lap faster than Jack. Remy takes this opportunity to throw some rocks around, which is sure to depress him even more. King of the Universe last year, this year “Wow, these are so hard to do!” I think he will play well at the end of the season.

Sixth-placed Fabulous is currently the only driver in the 1:31 half, but Aleix has proven unstoppable, no matter how hard the French crowd tries. Aleix even ran very far, but Fabulous just couldn’t capitalize on that mistake.

Remy’s teammate Raul Fernandez, Moto2’s Moral champion, also considers himself to be on the decline, so it’s not a good day for the KTM satellite team.

About seven laps and the field started it looked like there were three riders competing for first place – Bag, Miller and Beast, and three other riders, Mir, Aleix and Fabulous, competing for second. There’s a slight gap between the two groups, but what’s interesting is that it looks like Bagnaia and Miller are lifting Beast.

But not for long. Beast passes by the second Jack, and keeps an eye on Bagnaia. This of course allows Mir, Aleix and Fabulous to catch up with them a bit, and little by little, Fabulous is raising the hopes of the French crowd. There are 13 more laps left to race, so maybe…

Bagnaia and the Beast are now starting to separate Jack, while back in sixth place, Zarco competes with Marc Marquez, and takes the lead. Not so much Jorge Martin, who has plowed through the French national team.

With eight rounds remaining, Bagnaia and the Beast have about two seconds left on Jack, and one round after that, the Monster moves over the Bag in Dunlop Chicane. Bag fought back in La Chapelle, then ran extensively in the Garage, and finally crashed in Turn 14.

And Beast was gone. Miller has passed 2.3 seconds, and Beast is still doing 1:31s, which freaks everyone out. Oliveira was so terrified that he fell during Turn Four.

Trying hard, Fabulous just couldn’t finish with Aleix, and was denied the podium. Beast claimed on Twitter that he was “Pushed like an asshole. Again”, reflected his Tweet after he won the COTA round. Jack took second place, and Aleix remained Aprilia’s Golden Boy with another podium.

Mighty Mugello is coming in two weeks, but the Silly Season is in full swing, with rumors and hints of all sorts of fast and hard flying.

Decisions will come soon, and they will not disappoint everyone. I guess that’s the nature of decisions. Especially in this, the best sport.

MotoGP Le Mans race results 2022

MotoGP Championship Score Ranking