Hi guys, Erin Power Board Certified Health Coach is here to answer your questions about Primal dating. If you’re wondering when and how to “post,” we have strategies, tips, and backups! Do you have a question to ask our health coaches? Leave it below in the comments or in the Mark’s Daily Apple Facebook group.
Cara asked:
“I have been at Primal for a year and honestly have never felt better! It was difficult at first but now it comes naturally and makes me feel so much lighter. I also lost 10 pounds, it didn’t hurt! Problem: I’m newly single and using a dating app. I don’t want to offend people by being high maintenance. Do I mention I’m Primal in my profile? Or wait until the first date? Or wait and see how things play out? Help!”
First, congratulations on a year of eating and living Your Primal, Cara! How wonderful it is when you feel lighter and better. Great recognition as well to explore this question and look at how diet and lifestyle play a role in dating and relationships. Feeling healthier, more confident and at ease in one’s body can be very appealing. It creates a kind of attractive radiance that goes beyond “objective” metrics like body weight or beauty.
Not only that, a little confidence will help you boost your health when entering a date. Anyway, to the problem at hand: how to navigate your Primitive state declaration to the people who will be suitors.
Ask and Talk. Or… Don’t.
It’s much more common these days for people to ask and mention their “eating characteristics” or preferences when sharing a meal with someone for the first time. While we focus on dating here, this also applies to new friends, acquaintances, and co-workers. The point is, choosing to eat in a particular way is hardly unusual these days. That said, I fully understand how difficult it can be to navigate conversations around food and lifestyle in any relationship — perhaps even more so when first dating.
The good news is that you are coming in with an empty medium and a fresh start. As a Primal Health Coach, I work with many clients who are making change and struggling to explain their new Primal ways to partners, friends, and family members. If that’s important to you, you’ll want to share this side of you with people you know, both new and old.
But there’s another option here: Just say nothing. At least not immediately. It may not be necessary.
The person you’re dating probably won’t notice anything wrong with your eating habits. If you order a big butt salad, a delicious steak, or a low-sugar cocktail at a restaurant, it won’t cause any red marks. Decided to ditch the bread basket? It doesn’t matter: avoiding or limiting bread is becoming increasingly common among non-primal people.
Priorities and Values
Alternatively, you may want to be with someone who has similar priorities and values as you. This doesn’t mean they have to follow the 10 Rules of Primordial Blueprint (though if they did, that would be a great thing!). That means you might want to consider whether they, like you, are interested in a healthy lifestyle and healthy eating. If they balk at a few healthy food choices, it could be a sign that they’re not right for you.
Whatever you do, don’t enter a new relationship with the expectation of changing your partner’s eating habits. Accept their position and, if it doesn’t fit the Primitive way of life, decide if it’s right for you or the bankrupt. Also know that a healthy eating pattern without pressure or judgment is probably the best approach to encourage change and get people to try Primal.
By the way, eating and living in ways that make you feel best is NOT about staying high. This is one of the most important, impactful forms of self-care. In addition, in supporting your own vitality and longevity, you can perform better for others. Primal Eating obviously works for you. It would be a pity to let it slip for seemingly “low-maintenance” reasons. Don’t give up your own worth.
Primitive Dating Strategy and Basics
To summarize the basics:
- Own it immediately as you would any other important aspect, tell about your character OR go with the flow and celebrate your Primal-ness without feeling the need to publicize it.
- Don’t try or expect to change anyone else.
- Decide if your prospect’s priorities and values are closely enough with yours.
I know sometimes it seems easiest to just “come along” than to explain what you eat and why. And, to be clear, don’t feel as though you have to explain anything! However, relying on the basics above makes for a good policy. It will probably increase your chances of finding the perfect match… and your chances of staying long.
Along with the above, make it easier on your own! Try these 3 simple tips:
1. Go out to eat.
If dating means eating out, make sure you have strategies in place. The Free Primal and Keto Eating Out Guide is a great place to start. Also, suggest restaurants or food carts that have a Primal selection that you’ll enjoy. Being able to order individually eliminates the pressure of having to share the same dish with your travel companion.
2. Pack a picnic.
Also, suggest cooking dinner at home or pack a picnic! This creates the perfect opportunity to ask about the other person’s interests and mention yours. It also ensures you’ll have delicious Primal food to enjoy, no matter what the day is.
3. Find a Primal Date.
In addition to reporting your nutritional preferences in your online dating profile, consider places where Paleo and Primal ideology is more prevalent. Look for groups and events (whether online or in real life) with topics like keto, intermittent fasting, functional medicine, and biohacking.
Conferences like KetoCon or Metabolic Health Summit are examples of larger scale health conferences where you’re sure to find some of the best allies. Gyms and Facebook groups are also a great place to start.
To spare Primal navigating the dating pool while staying true to your wellness goals, I recommend hiring a coach. External accountability is truly a game changer and we can help you untangle your specific cases and complex social situations. Working with a coach for even a month or two can help you come up with solid strategies for staying Primal while dating or hanging out with family and friends. Visit myprimalcoach.com to learn more and get started!
Do you become Primal when you first meet someone? Got any Primal dating tips to share? Let us know and ask me other questions in the comments!
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