Like many people, I had a rough year. My father died, an uncle died soon after, and everything was a lot, you know? Even in my best years, I still find Christmas a challenge. That’s why I fill my ears with the maximum sounds of a song of real suffering, a song by a fictional musician in a video game. Dear reader, it’s that time of year: if you haven’t started yet, pour yourself a cocoa and join me in Christmas Pain In Christmas Town.
Christmas Pain in Christmas Town is that of The Chowder Man, a fictional musician whose songs and tragedies are scattered across the Internet’s alternate history. Hypnospace Outlaw. In fact, they belong to musician and comedian Erik.”Hot dad“Helwig, who is joined here by guitarist Dave Pino (who’s just a real person). The song isn’t in the game, mind, instead it’s an additional surprise in 2019 with a video from the person. Hypnospace creation Joy Tholen.
This is one of the most loved Christmas songs of all time. It was an outpouring of regret and longing that I knew all too well from so many Christmasses. It is a clumsy parable that I find endearing. It is Father Christmas’s call to save today. It’s the wall of sound I crave this time of year. Those are raw and complicated feelings that I don’t want to tell you about. It’s Christmas!
And I’m not the stupid type to insist that their favorite Christmas movie is Die Hard. I paid for a Hallmark Channel subscription and have watched several dozen Christmas movies so far this season. I think Mariah Carey made the perfect Christmas song. I saw the Christmas lights at the botanical garden, and will probably go again. I point out the auspicious Christmas lights to anyone who comes with me. I built a gingerbread house, and I ate a gingerbread house. Christmas Pain in Christmas Town fits my festive spectrum perfectly.
(By the way, real love can do one thing. Real love commits the biggest sin a Christmas romance can have: it believes that love is a miracle. No, Christmas is magic. Magic, and the magic of Christmas that makes love. Don’t get it wrong. And Love Actually isn’t really about love, it’s about people who agree. And it’s miserable. upon seeing its name borrowed in the much more upscale Hallmark fall movie Love, of course.)
Fun fact: I cried twice in the process of writing this article. I’m feeling the Christmas pain in Christmas Town, and I’m so glad this song is here for me.
