This Is Me… Now could have come with the disclaimer “from the free-roaming mind of Jennifer Lopez.” The visual album from pop star which dropped on Prime on February 16th offers an incredibly earnest look into Lopez’s mind and heart via a musical extravaganza where she is both the subject and star. No stone is left unturned in the imagination of Jenny from the Block, who plumbs the depths of her romantic history via fantastical scenarios that involve everything from clocking hours as a factory worker to therapy sessions with Fat Joe.
Lopez was reportedly cautioned by friends and family against making the project, which she invested $20 million of her own money into. “Everybody thought I was crazy,” Lopez told Variety. “And by the way, I thought I was crazy.” Nevertheless she persisted, and gave her fans something so bizarre and quintessentially J Lo that you have no choice but to say, “Wow… she did that.”
Here are some of the most wonderfully out-there moments:
The Motor Cycle Accident
Lopez begins her musical romance movie by regaling the audience with “The Tale of Alida and Taroo.” According to an old Puerto Rican myth, Alida and Taroo were a pair of star-crossed lovers forbidden from being together by Alida’s father, who had promised Alida to another suitor. Heartbroken, Alida begs the Gods to save her from this fate, and they transform her into a red flower. Then, the gods transform Taroo into a hummingbird, who flits from flower to flower in search of his lost love.
We cut from “The Tale of Alida and Taroo” to Lopez riding on the back of a motorcycle, gliding across a desert canyon. Although we don’t get a good look at the man operating the motor cycle, he appears to be quite handsome, wearing sunglasses and sporting a five o-clock shadow. In fact, he looks suspiciously like Lopez’s husband, Ben Affleck. “Whenever someone asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, my answer was always, ‘I wanna be in love,’” says Lopez via voice over. While riding on the back of that motorcycle she appears to be just that, giddy and gleeful, hair flowing in the wind in a sequence reminiscent of Kanye West‘s music video for Bound 2.
The ride does not remain smooth for long. “I learned the hard way that not all love stories have a happy ending,” says Lopez as the motorcycle veers off course and crashes in spectacular fashion. She and her beau go hurtling through the air in an accident unlikely to have survivors. Could this be an allegory for her relationship with Affleck, whom she was engaged to 20 years ago before that relationship crashed and burned? She doesn’t say so explicitly, but, yeah, it’s about Ben.
The Explosion at the Heart Factory
After the motorcycle accident, Lopez clocks in to her job at [checking notes] the heart factory where she [double checking notes] mines rose petals to feed to the central heart machine. It seems the heart machine is in danger of failing and the petal level is “critical.” At once, J lo is at on a musical mission to find the last rose petal to feed to the heart machine, which she does while singing a rousing number about how she made it not only through the rain but through the drama and the pain.
We later find out that the heart factory is not a real factory, but rather a reoccurring dream that she’s been having. In any case, J Lo, dressed as Matt Damon from The Martian, feeds the last remaining rose petal to the heart machine before it explodes. This heart, it seems, will not go on.
Ben Affleck Is Rex Stone
You might assume that a Lopez’s romance album/movie might feature her one true love as himself. Actually, no. In This Is Me… Now, Affleck pops up as “Rex Stone” a Fox News-style television pundit who hosts “The Truth Report with Rex Stone,” which Lopez watches while lounging in a glass box of an apartment. (How can Lopez afford an all glass luxury apartment if she is a heart-factory worker? And why is she watching the equivalent of Fox News? Neither question is answered). As Stone, Affleck wears a terrible blonde comb over wig and veneers big enough to chew through steel. “In 2012, the number one question people asked is ‘What is love?’” says Stone. He goes on to read the top questions that are apparently being asked today: “Why women kill?” “Will I get laid?” “Am I preg-erant?” It’s all very strange, but ultimately worth it to hear Affleck ask the final question, “Why my poop green?”
Fat Joe Is The Therapist
In J Lo’s Love Is Blind-esque musical film, Fat Joe is her therapist. Yes, the beloved rapper behind such classics as “Lean Back” and “What’s Luv?” moonlights as a seasoned psychoanalyst, and honestly he seems to be doing a bang-up job. He asks Lopez about her love addiction and questions why she continues to repeat the same cycle of behavior. He instructs Lopez to attend a Love Addicts Anonymous group, so she can get to the bottom of her obsession. He also cuts Lopez off mid-sentence, telling her that her time is up during their session, which is a good lesson in how to set boundaries. In any case, The Soprano‘s Dr. Melfi is shaking.
The Zodiac Love Council
Fat Joe is far from the only celebrity to appear in This Is Me… Now. J Lo arranged a cabal of celebrities to play different Zodiac signs. Led by Jane Fonda‘s wise Sagittarius, the stars form a Zodiac love council who watch and comment on Lopez’s love journey as if it’s an episode of Vanderpump Rules. Trevor Noah is the balanced Libra. Post Malone is winning as the outgoing Leo. Keke Palmer is hilarious as the chaotic Scorpio (“Lord, help her love cost a thing,” she quips). Likewise, Sofia Vergara is great as a ditzy Cancer. (“I think I can see my father’s house from here,” she says when she’s supposed to be watching Lopez). Kim Petras plays Virgo as princess-y, Jennifer Lewis pulls double duty as the two sides of Gemini. Jay Shetty pops up as Aries and actual guru Sadghuru plays Pisces. And of course, king of the stars, Neil DeGrasse Tyson, also pops as Taurus.
Those familiar with J Lo lore know that she is very serious about the Zodiac. Legend has it that while auditioning back up dancers, she asked everyone their sign and then promptly dismissed all the Virgos. During the credits, Vergara says what we’re all thinking: “This is one of the weirdest thing I’ve ever done in my life.”
J Lo Loves Babs
J. Lo also doesn’t play about Barbra Streisand. Her love of “her idol” Streisand is well documented, with Lopez announcing her marriage on Instagram with the caption “Sadie, Sadie married lady” (a classic Funny Girl line) and singing Streisand’s classic “People” in public whenever she gets the chance. So, it was no surprise that Streisand popped up in This Is Me… Now, when a heartbroken J Lo watches and perfectly recites Streisand’s monologue from The Way We Were. “You’ll never find anyone as good for you as me,” Lopez says over Streisand’s monologue. “To believe in you as much as I do or love you as much.”
The Intervention
Some thornier aspects of Lopez’s past seem to be satirized in This Is Me… Now. One of those moments occurs during an intervention staged by Lopez’s friend group. “We think you might be a sex addict… relationship addict,” says one of her friends, to J Lo’s disbelief. Of course, J. Lo has walked into the intervention with a new beau on her arm, Bobby, and during the intervention, Bobby accidentally drops a gun on the floor. “I have a license,” screams Bobby as he waves his gun around, proving J Lo’s friends point that may she rushed into the relationship. “Relax, he does security,” Lopez says. By the next scene, she’s off to Love Addicts Anonymous.
