Like many people, the word “ritual” did not become a consistent part of my personal vocabulary until much later in life. Similarly, my attachment to rituals as a guide, daily practice did not begin to take shape until shortly after my 40th voyage around the sun.
However, when I look back on my childhood, I see that the practice of ritual has always been presence in our home in one way or another. It rarely, if ever, involves a formal ceremony as traditionally defined. Rather, the ritual, as I gradually understood, was an unwritten thing lifestyle. It’s a way to see, interact, and welcome the world. In other words, it’s not saved just for the precious or seemingly epic moments in life. It is a chosen perspective that embodies and weaves into the fabric of even our most ordinary days.
I recall this when thinking about how my father, a photographer, moved fluidly around his darkroom as he brought his images to life. Each step has a purpose and is done with joyous and evaluation. His deep love and respect for the process was evident in the way he danced through space at a meditative tempo. I saw that in the way he handled the film and developed the tools carefully. And perhaps that is most evident in the thrill and inevitably fills the room when his image appears on photographic paper.
How else does the point of ritual show up in my everyday life? It was my mother’s enchanting way of pulling the threads of beauty out of the simplest things and building experience around them. Her conscientious choice to create unusual seemingly divine experiences. She created a celebration of what was meaningful to her or to our family. Nothing fancy, but always full of beauty and intention.
Physically, rituals reveal themselves in small altars and sacred spaces created and placed around our homes. You can find them in various nooks and crannies, on top of closets and hidden corners. Some remain unchanged, others are always evolving. They used to serve as daily reminders representing inspiration, personal meaning, celebration, nature or beauty.
With meals, the focus is always on preparation and serving. There are sequential steps interwoven with improvisation, filling the room with joy, conversation, music and the praise of the fragrance.
Daily rituals are a purposeful practice
This approach to life is not hidden in the way we talk about our days. However, my parents, each in their own way, provided insight into the value and importance of creating thoughtful experiences of people and things that matter to me. . And this, I understood, is a practice in ritual. It could be to put a slip of paper with an inspirational word on it on the kitchen window and consciously jot it down every time I pass by, stopping to take a breather as I kiss my partner goodbye. during the day, or sitting outside with my toes in the grass and my face in the sun as I eat my midday meal. Choose to watch and create these experiences as one purposeful practice of ritualMark the moment and, I believe, make it sacred with practice and consistency.
“The simplest things are also the most extraordinary things and only the wise can see them.”
Paulo Coelho
How can we build daily rituals into our lives?
I find three important and helpful ingredients to build ritual into everyday life: presence, point of viewand selection. Presence asks us to slow down and open our senses. In this deeper awareness, we can begin to notice and acknowledge what is meaningful to us. Perspective invites us to look through a new lens. What if we see all of life as a sacred ritual? What if we trained our eyes to see ritual opportunities at any given time? This reminds us that ritual is not only performance, but also a way of seeing. In the end, choosing simply means choosing to mark the moment and create an experience when you feel inspired. Allow yourself to allow both rituals to be consistent and spontaneous.
For most of us, the idea of adding one more thing to your day feels overwhelming. Instead, start by giving yourself five minutes to simply write down what you did during the day on a consistent basis. This can be like getting up, brushing your teeth, pouring a cup (or three) of coffee or tea, preparing a meal, greetings and greetings to your loved ones, sitting down at the computer, etc. , pick one or two of these consistent daily practices and consider how you might layer and build a ritual for a practice that’s already there.
Examples of daily rituals to inspire yourself:
- Forward. The transitional moments of your day are the right times to perform the ritual. Note natural transitions and use these tiny spatial windows to create an uplifting, nurturing experience. One minute of deep breathing, mind checking, drinking a glass of water and practicing gratitude for upbringing, acknowledging a loved one, being physically active (midday dance with whom?), essential oils, setting intentions for what happens next, etc.
- Anniversary. When you open your eyes in the morning, place your hand over your heart and say to yourself, “Thank you for today, thank you for this breath.”
- Gratitude. As you brush your teeth, listen to a silent gratitude practice. In silence, reflect on two or three things you are grateful for.
- Purposeful silence. Give yourself permission to practice intentional silence as you prepare your morning cup of coffee, tea, or warm lemonade. Please do the movement slowly and mindfully. Bring a meditative lens to each step of the process so that it becomes a moving meditation. Before taking your first sip, hold the cup between your hands and enjoy the warmth and aroma.
- Wake up early. Even five minutes of alone time in the morning before the whole family wakes up and your day “starts” can make all the difference in how you feel and perform throughout the day. Try setting your alarm five or ten minutes earlier than before, and sit down in your favorite chair or dedicated meditation cushion. Sit quietly, watch your breath or listen to a guided meditation. Take your last moments to put pen to paper.
- Your Meal Journey. As you prepare or sit down to your first meal of the day, allow yourself to take a deep breath and honor the hands that made this meal.
- Sacred space. Create a small sacred space or altar at your desk at the start of each work day. This can be like a memo about your day’s intentions, a picture that brings joy and comfort to your mind and body, or an essential oil you can turn to when you need your next boost. earth or energy. I also like to build an altar somewhere in my house that I pass by regularly as a consistent reminder to pause, breathe, and land in the moment.
- Adjusting. Take a few minutes mid-day to notice how you feel, where you’ve placed your energy and focus for the day so far. Consider where you feel invited to place your next attention. Perhaps a few conscious breaths, hands on heart, or brief meditation to set intention for the rest of your day.
- Statement “Enough.” For many of us, the line between work life and home life is constantly blurred. My therapist reminded me once that at some point we have to decide if we’re doing enough. I find that marking the end of a (work) day with a ritual helps me get things done and move on to the next part of the day with greater presence and joy. A few ideas: At the end of your day, clear your workspace with sage, saying to yourself, “I’ve done enough.” draw a bathlighting candle, shake off (literally) the workday, or take a walk around the block. Anything that helps you feel refreshed and alert.
- High and low. This is one of the rituals my husband and I built with our three sons. Every night over dinner, we took turns sharing the highs and lows of the day. We close by sharing a word to describe how we feel. It often gets silly (usually when it’s the dog’s turn to share), but we’ve found it to be a meaningful way to connect and check in with each other.
- Seal of the day. I find that creating a bedtime routine helps me fall asleep faster and fall asleep more easily and stably. I’m a big fan of essential oils, so my bedtime ritual revolves around a few favorites. I love on my feet (self massage) with vetiver and Yarrow serum. I will also roll Magnolia or serenity blends quiet on my pulse points just before the lights go out. As you lay your head on the pillow, consider acknowledging the abundance in your life. Take your time with this and be specific. This usually takes me straight into a deep rest.
As you consider your own rituals and habits, remember the sky is the limit and there are no rules! What if you rearranged the ritual as anything that brings more presence to your day and brings you to your higher self. Remember: It’s yours to define, create, and practice.
*editor’s note: If you’re interested in delving into your own rituals, join me for Kate’s upcoming The Ritual Practice, an online series kicking off next month. You can register Ritual practice here.
