We all want our dogs to feel confident and secure, especially when meeting new people. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. Whether due to poor genetics or a traumatic experience, some dogs are very shy and need to build trust with people. While this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it can be a problem if owners try to force their dog into stressful situations when they’re not ready.
Shy dogs are often the ones that bite out of fear – they’re not mean, they’re just scared. Rehabilitating a dog takes a lot of time and effort, but there are things you can do to help them build confidence. They may never be social butterflies, but you can still help them become more comfortable around strangers.
How to build trust with a shy dog
All dogs can be shy, but this is most common in dogs with a difficult past, such as those who have survived in a puppy mill or previous strays. If you recently adopted a shy dog, you may feel frustrated if they don’t like you. But trust takes time to build and the results are well worth it.
So here are 9 ways you can form a relationship with your shy dog.
#1 – Patience
With that said, working with a shy dog takes time and effort. Patience is a virtue here because plunging a scared dog into something they’re not ready for is a recipe for disaster. Not only will you hinder any progress you’ve made, but you could also make the situation worse.
Think about helping someone overcome a phobia – contrary to popular belief, you’re not just throwing people into their worst nightmare, you’re helping them through it. You take small steps and celebrate small victories. Here’s what you do with shy dogs. Make your dog comfortable around you, then add strangers, other animals, and new places.
Try not to get discouraged as this will only add to your dog’s stress. You are the person they know best, so when you become upset, they will feel less confident. Every dog’s time is different, so let your dog come to you on their terms and don’t rush into anything.
#2 – Avoid eye contact
To most humans, eye contact is considered polite, but dogs don’t see it that way. Many animals see direct eye contact as a threat, so a dog unfamiliar with human behaviors may feel anxious if you keep an eye on them.
When approaching an anxious dog, it’s best to avoid eyes. Most shy dogs also feel more comfortable if you approach with their back or face facing them instead of walking directly towards them.
#3 – Know your dog’s limits
Every dog is different, so paying attention to your dog’s behavior and reactions can help you gain their trust. For example, some dogs love to be talked to, especially when you are using “baby talk”. However, other dogs may not associate human voices with positive memories, so they may feel more comfortable sitting in silence.
People also tend to assume that all dogs love to be petted, but shy dogs are often apathetic or afraid of physical contact at first. If your dog shows signs of fear, such as whining, shaking, rolling his eyes, or growling, you should stop petting them and give them some space.
As your dog gets used to pets, you should start scratching them under the ears. Bring your hand close to the pet with your hand lower than raising it above their head to avoid triggering memory of abuse.
#4 – Keep at your dog’s level
If people were taller than you, you would probably be scared too. So when interacting with your shy dog, lower their levels as much as possible. Bend or sit down near them when giving them treats, toys, and affection. They might be more receptive to it if they don’t see you as a giant.
Dogs can’t speak the same language as us, so telling them “it’s okay” or “safe” won’t do anything. However, they can recognize your voice. So whenever you talk to them, keep your voice calm and soft to avoid startling them.
#5 – Provide a comfortable environment
During your shy dog’s first few days home, keep the space as calm and quiet as possible. Set up a dedicated area for your dog so they can retreat to it if they feel overwhelmed. This space can be a corner of the house where their crates, beds and toys are located. Make sure these items are their own and are not shared with other pets.
If your dog hides in their space, leave them alone and give them time to decompress. If your dog wants attention, they will come to you. But if you chase them too much, they can show aggression out of fear. It can be hard not to pet and cuddle a lovely dog, but shy dogs will adjust better if you leave them alone until they learn to trust you.
Sometimes playing music can help your dog relax. Based on researchDogs love soft rock and reggae.
#6 – Walk a lot
Many dogs are shy because they haven’t been exposed to the world enough. You should not take your anxious dog into a pet supply store. But you can start by walking in areas where your dog is comfortable. Start in your neighborhood, then branch out to neighborhoods, parks you frequent, and finally everywhere you can.
The more your dog gets out and about to the world, the more confident they will be. Protect your dog from strangers and other dogs, as introducing them can be traumatic. Go for a gentle walk with just you and your family and let others know that your scared puppy isn’t ready to greet strangers.
You should also remember not to coax the dog too much during these walks. You need to walk confidently and with purpose, showing your dog that there is nothing to worry about. If they get scared by a garbage truck, keep walking. The more you show an interest in going out in no-frills new places, the more your confidence will spread down to your dog’s leash.
#7 – Slowly meet new people
Many shy dogs are afraid of certain people, such as men with deep voices or beards. Sometimes this means they’ve been abused by someone in that description, but other times, they’re just unfamiliar with certain people. Most of the volunteers at shelters and rescues are women, so that’s why dogs are often hesitant to meet men.
So once your shy dog becomes more comfortable going out in public, you can try introducing them to more people. Start by taking them close to strangers, but don’t get too close to worrying your dog. As they become more confident, you can let new testers reward them with a treat to earn their trust.
If your dog shows signs of anxiety when meeting new people, such as shaking or growling, don’t force the interaction. Remember, just because someone wants to pet your dog doesn’t mean you should let them. Pay attention to yours dog body language to help you decide if they’re okay with the interaction before moving on.
#8 – Take a class
Training your dog is a great way to strengthen relationships and build confidence. Take a fun class like obedience, agility or nose job will expose your dog to new sights and sounds and give them the confidence to work towards rewards. Using positive reinforcement is important because too much punishment or negative feedback can cause stress in dogs.
You want to reward them with treats and toys to give them more confidence in their actions. Think about when you’re learning something new – don’t you feel proud and accomplished when you’re able to take on a new task or build a new skill? So does your dog.
Working together will help strengthen the bond you have, your dog will know they can comfortably trust you, and you’ll have a lot of fun working together. Soon, if you will, you’ll be getting advanced training in a place your formerly shy dog has never been!
#9 – Try the game
There are several exercises you can do to build trust in your shy dog. The first choice for dogs that are afraid to approach you. Find a space where they are comfortable and a dish they love. Then, walk toward your dog, place the treat halfway between the two of you, and continue backing away until your dog feels comfortable enough to take the reward. As you repeat that, your dog will learn that they can walk towards you to receive treats.
Another option is to throw dog food when they look at you. They will have to come back to eat it and then back to you if they want another dish. Here’s another way to teach your dog that looking at you or getting close to you is associated with something positive.
When a shy dog feels comfortable around you, you can help them get used to human contact. For this exercise, if the dog comes close to you, gently stroke them for a few seconds. Avoid the belly area or the top of the head as these pimples can cause allergies. Then, put your hand down to see what your dog does. If they leave, don’t push. If they stay still, pet them for a few more seconds. Over time, your dog may respond positively when you continue petting, such as wagging his tail or moving closer when you stop.
Finally, you can move on to regular training and tricks with your shy dog once they have learned to trust you. Some dogs will take longer to reach that point than others.
Is a shy dog right for you?
If you’re thinking of adopting a shy dog, it’s a big decision. Shy dogs can make great companions, and it’s heartwarming when you finally win their trust, but it’s also a lot of work to do.
You need to be patient about when your dog will hit milestones. Sometimes, severely shy dogs take months or even years to function as comfortably as other dogs. You should also have a quiet, comfortable space to help them get out of the shell. Fenced yards can help with corrections.
Shy dogs aren’t for everyone, but they can form the best bonds with humans when provided with the right environment. So if you’re willing to take things slow, then you could be the perfect dog parent for a shy puppy. If you prefer an outgoing dog, there are always plenty of dogs to adopt.
