101 best family conversation starters to try now

I will never forget how his eyes lit up. All year long, I’ve asked my preschooler the same default question: “How was your day?” Only to be met with a quick, “Good!” before squirming out of my embrace to find Legos and snacks. But on this particular day, I tried a different strategy. “Do you work for anyone? laugh today?” I ask. and all the things that make a 5-year-old giggle uncontrollably.

In that moment, I realized that my son had a lot to say to me — I was simply asking the wrong questions. And so I started to be a question collector and conversation starter for families actually Let the children talk.

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In fact, my disclosure has changed more than just the way I talk to my kids (see also: marriage meeting). “How is your day going?” is such a broad and monotonous question that it rarely prompts meaningful conversation whether you’re five or fifty. Its stories motivates us — stories that spark core memories and bring a certain color and richness to our lives. And the story begins by asking the right questions.

But it doesn’t stop there.

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How do you have a good conversation with family?

Even with the best conversation starters in your toolbox, there are a few more things to consider when it comes to engaging kids (and parents, for that matter).

First, consider the time

I once hosted a show.”snack and shared” around the desk after school, and that worked well—for a while. But as schedules change and my kids get older, they prefer to play, eat, watch TV and eat again than sit and chat with adults. These days, It’s dinner time works better for us. Every family will be different, but know that if your child is hungry or tired, no one will appreciate a moment of forced family.

When your child opens a window to chat, you never know how long it will stay open. Seize the opportunity.

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Try bringing up a few people to start a conversation while you’re walking or cycling. Driving in a car is the perfect place to ask interesting questions, especially when there’s a snack bar. When you’re out in nature or driving, it offers something else to focus on that tends to magically open avenues for free dialogue.

Now that you have the tools, let’s dive into the questions.

Questions to ask children after school

Try these questions once your child is settled in the car, when you get home (or after you finish school at home), or even after dinner. Mix them together, or if your child answers a particular question well, make it part of an after-school ritual.

• Did you make anyone laugh today?
• Who made you laugh today?
• Who did you sit next to at lunch?
• What did you eat today?
• Anyone in trouble today?
• Who did you play with on the playground?
• Do you play any games at recess?
• What made you feel happy today?
• Did something make you sad today?
• What is one thing you learned today?
• What did your teacher talk to you about today?
• What do you like most about your teacher?
• Did you do anything that feels difficult today?
• Is anyone kind for you today?
• Can you help anyone today?
• Did you try anything new today?
• If you were the teacher for the day, what would you do?

If the right question is a seed, your context is the soil — it should be the place where the conversation can flourish.

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Use these dinner conversation starters as a starting point. You can take turns answering a single question around the table or giving everyone a new question. There’s no need to rush from one to the next — the goal is simply to communicate. Remember to practice active listeningAlways curious and having fun.

• Highs and lows: share a high and a low for the day.
• What are you excited about for tomorrow?
• What’s the best thing about your family?
• Pick a person at the table and compliment them.
• What is one thing you are looking forward to?
• What is your favorite chore?
• What do you think makes a happy family?
• Your favorite meal that we have as a family?
• If you could invite someone to dinner, who would it be?
• What is one new thing you learned today?
• What made you smile or smile today?
• Tell someone at the table what you like about them.
• Share one thing you are grateful for.
• What is your favorite family tradition?
• Choose three words to describe yourself.
• Where do you want to go on a family vacation?
• If you could swap places with your parents for the day, what would you do?
• What’s the hardest thing about your age?
• What’s the best thing about being your age?

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Start a fun conversation for the family

Stuck in traffic for a long time? These funny questions and interesting questions are road trips yellow. My recommendation: drive to the gas station first, let everyone pick a snack, then start the trip with a question before pull out the screen.

• What is your favorite word?
• If you met a genie, what three things would you wish for?
• What is a word that always makes you laugh?
• Tell me your favorite joke.
• Do you want to shave your head or get a mohawk?
• You just have to put on the sorting hat: which Hogwarts House are you at?
• Do you want to lose your social network or TV?
• If you could swap places with one person for a day, who would it be?
• If you were a superhero, what would your power be?
• If I gave you $100, where would you spend it?
• If you could only eat one food a day for the rest of your life, what would it be?
• If you could choose your own name, what would it be?
• If you had a time machine, where (or when) would you go?
• If you could be a character in any book or movieWho will you be?
• If you could have any pet, what would you choose?
• Do you want to live in the mountains or on the beach?
• If you could only watch one movie for the rest of your life, what would it be?
• Do you want to go on a cruise or go hunting?
• If it rained on food, what would you want it to be?
• If we all lived in a zoo, what animal would each be?
• If you could create a new animal, what would it be?
• If there was a movie about you, what would it be called?
• Do you want to go to space or dive deep into the ocean?
• If you could bring one of your toys to life, which would it be?
• If you could live on one TV show, what would it be?

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(P.S.: Listening, Reflection, and Seven Other Ways to Encourage trust in your child.)