Why I Quit Dating Apps Like Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge

In April, I made a decision: I deleted Hinge. It’s the last dating app left on my phone.

Aside from Hinge, I’ve tried Tinder, Bumble, The League, and JDate and likely spent hundreds of hours scouring them in hopes of finding that coveted long-term relationship.

But I’m still single. And I’m very tired.

What at first seemed like a fun, inexpensive way to get into the wild world of dating, turned into a chore and frustrating business.

After five fruitless years, from now on I will only date in the real world.

I had a 4% success rate

‘It’s like hitting a slot machine’

You can’t rush love

At 36, I’m trying to be more intentional about how I spend my time. There is evidence of this kind of attitude improve health. And the more intentional I am, the less patient I am with optional activities that make me quite miserable, including online dating. They’re not worth it.

It’s been five months since I deleted the last dating app on my phone.

Now, instead of scrolling through and chatting with men whose vibes I can’t measure and meeting just to strike up a conversation, I’m chatting with my grandma or reading plays or watching stand with friends ( “Just for us” to be well done).

Life is not without occasional disappointments (I had Covid a few weeks ago, for example). But no more agonizingly scrolling through random profiles and sending meaningless texts and filling it with activities and people I love.

Don’t get me wrong: I’m afraid I’ll never meet someone as a result of this act.

Uncertainty is a trigger for anxiety, Russell Ramsay, Professor of clinical psychology at the University of Pennsylvania, told me once. And a life without a constant stream of “choices” is not uncertain.

But I’m also putting myself in many situations where I’m guaranteed to meet people. I joined a writing group and took writing and acting classes this year.

I have made space for more in my life.

Regardless of whether or not these experiences bring me before the man of my dreams, I am being inspired and finding joy and fulfillment in ways I didn’t realize I missed.

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