If you see a car crash a baby bear and want to skin the bear and put the meat in the refrigerator, What kind of car will you use? to pick it up? And if you get lost later, need to go to airport with the bear still in your car and need to dump the body somewherealike Central Park in New York CityFor example, would your choice be different? Perhaps you have worms are eating your brain for a while. How will that affect your car choice? These are all important questions that can really only be answered by Presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy, Jr..
Unfortunately, RFK did not specify what make or model of car he was driving when he dumped a bear in Central Park in 2014, although he did specify that it was a truck. That gives us a place to start. Is a truck a good vehicle to tow a dead bear? There are a few things to consider.
Volume of goods:
You’ll want a vehicle with enough payload. An adult black bear weighs up to 700 pounds, although RFK has made it clear that the bear he picked up was a cub. But you don’t really want to limit yourself to cubs, do you? If you happen to witness a car hit and kill an adult bear, you don’t want all that delicious meat to go to waste, do you? No, you better have at least a thousand pounds of payload to safely tow it.
Odor:
For me, the worst thing about dragging a dead animal is that it doesn’t smell fresh for a long time. Wild animals stink anyway, and worse when they’re in rigor mortis. A hit from a car going fast enough to kill a bear would probably leave the carcass covered in blood and possibly no feces. There’s nothing worse than the smell of old blood and feces in a hot car.
Lifting height:
Bears are heavy haulers, so you’ll want something with a low load floor and low lift height, as the higher you have to lift, the more effort you’ll have to put in. I don’t think a tall truck or SUV would work here.
Conclusion:
If it were me, I’d go with the Ford Maverick. With the tailgate down, the liftover height is just 30 inches. The separate bed means you can haul a dead bear without smelling the dead bear. And it has a 1,500-pound payload capacity, so if you see two dead bears, you can pick them both up in one trip! Plus, it’s available as a hybrid, so it can quietly roll up in the middle of the night when you’re dumped in Central Park on your way to the airport.
