Sometimes it’s easy to lose the freshness of life. Its pure innocence. Beautiful brain space, effortless, looking out into nature and feeling safe. The correct notion that we are multiple versions of ourselves; to know which versions are powerful. The idea of the fact that we are a mass of water and sensations, is trying to create a sense of a larger world than we can rightly imagine.
When the James Webb Space Telescope captured it Picture of the invisible universe and Jupiter, my brain went to a place where I feared. How the atmosphere can continue to play out; How to extend hold and hide us? I cringed as if I could only look through the tiniest keyhole, and seeing all those galaxies made me forget who I was. At first, instead of appreciating the galactic wonder, I thought of the obvious. We float. All I know for sure: We spin and spin and spin.
So how do we land? How do we find joy in the basic goods of life? While seeing the galaxy in such detail leaves us completely bewildered, how do we allow stale experiences beyond the big stuff to bring back a sense of purpose again? And most of all, how the hell am I going to get back to earth?
What exactly is self-actualization?
While reading daily, scrolling through Instagram, and walking around the yard while listening to podcasts, I discovered the phrase “self-actualization.” What exactly is self-actualization? In psychology, it is the process by which an individual reaches their full potential. Very good. But what does that mean? Exercise is a process that I know I can use to reach my full potential. So why does anticipating an escape make me want to turn into a pile of ashes? Shouldn’t “realization” make me feel happy, no matter what?
To better understand this, I turned to Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. According to an article by Scott Barry Kaufman in American Science (Writer’s Note: Who doesn’t spend time on a science website at all hours of the day?), Maslow insists “on the notion that self-actualizers are motivated by health, growth, wholeness. , inclusion, humanitarian purpose and ‘facts of life. ”” It is important to note that self-actualization is not perfection or that everything goes smoothly. You can self-actualize and still have difficulty (Case A: I, imagine 10,000 galaxies somehow poured into a grain of sand).
To better understand how this process works, I begin by defining self-actualization as the simple act of Do you know who I am and maybe reside within that space for some time. Or, as Maslow eloquently puts it, “healthy self-awareness on the path to self-transcendence.”
Simplify the idea of personal acceptance.
Everything I write about properties to self-actualize in some way. I am constantly trying to define, understand and share myself. And in today’s world, built on technology and the ever-so-loved fast-paced life, self-actualization has become more important than I realize. And harder to complete. How do I have time to accept my quirks and live within them?
According to the internet, we have time to accept all these things. Self-actualization is acceptance and authenticity and equality and purpose and humanitarianism, a good moral attitude and peeping experiences and WHO NEED TO READ THIS? I know I am.
I am constantly trying to define, understand and share myself. And in today’s world, built on technology and the ever-so-loved fast-paced life, self-actualization has become more important than I realize.
How can we simplify reality for ourselves? How can we become closer to who we are and accept that in a way that feels like surrender? Instead of fighting?
Two words: alone time.
In one Girls Night In news, Jodi Elliott wrote a post explaining how she began to see alone time as “realized time”. She writes, “What I do is go downstairs and into my trench, my groove is 20 years old and I am 30 years old and I am 41 years old, thinking thoughts and writing down words and spending time. time with yourself. I think the margarita promotes thoughts of lost love and hangs aspirational designer paintings on my bulletin board. I read poems and emptied my inbox. In short, I actualize myself by sitting down and reflecting and being with me, all my love and tranquility, motherhood, success and lost dreams. I feel every inch of that for a few hours every night. ”
Aw, that’s happiness.
Shouldn’t we focus on constant brooding? Let’s spend time on things that bring us such bland joy, whose candor helps us to become quiet and listen to who we are? We rarely build space to spend time with ourselves, and we should. We are no good to the world unless we do. We owe it to our children. We owe it to the environment and our families.
Here are a few things I do when I have time to practice:
- Watering and pruning my plants
- Draw horses and ponies by numbers while watching replays of Fixer to Fabulous
- Prepare a box in the house for Goodwill people
- Draw butterflies on flat river rocks
- Standing next to a horse
- Read old diary entries
- Spend countless hours in an antique shop
- Drink some wine alone and listen to Fleetwood Mac
- Tear the house-inspired photos out of old magazines and stick them in a notebook like I did with the Justin Timberlake photos.
- Listen to instrumental music — imagine all the lives I didn’t or could have
A lot happens in these moments. Most of them require me to be quiet, so that I can sit with my thoughts; face the reality of my flaws and quirks. I remember who I was when I was a little girl and compare that to now. I quickly realized that we are very much like nature, and the only thing that remains constant is change.
Here are a few things that spoil any sense of reality:
- A doom-scroll session on social media
- Stressful shopping on Amazon
- Surrounded by people in a small room (AKA network)
- Reply to multiple Group messages at once
- Read a book that I don’t like
- Count how many “likes” I got on my Instagram posts
- Validate my self-worth through popularity
When I sabotage my realization, I feel overwhelmed by my spirit. I become easily distracted. I’m not good. I am crafty and careless driving. I spend too much money and sit in guilt longer. I was frustrated with my anger and, like some kind of ruthless domino, felt that everything could fall at once. I let myself unravel slowly, almost without knowing. I get stuck in these cycles, and I know we all are.
I’m not sure if I would define self-actualization as growth.
I know Maslow does, but I struggle to feel the pressure on myself. Of course, perception is attributed to development. But while “writers have to write” to be happy, self-actualization can also be the worst. A writer must also be a bad writer, stop writing, sit in the water, understand who they are without it. Our best selves must also be our worst selves. We have to be a bad self and a good self, stop giving ourselves completely, sit in the water, meditate and understand who we are without the rest.
Elliott wrote at the end of the newsletter, “I thought ‘realization’ wasn’t the brightest, most successful, most ambitious part of me. But the most humble and honest part of me.”
She is right. The simple truth of the matter is: We are who we are. We need to sit with that. Make f*ck out of your life. Right now, in this moment, we are all we have.
Brittany Chaffee is a passionate storyteller, professional author, and author. Every day, she gets paid to strategize and create content for brands. Outside of business hours, it’s all about a well-lit place, warm bread, and good company. She lives in St.Paul with her cat brother, Rami and Monkey. Follow her on Instagramread more about her latest book, border lineand (most importantly) hug your mom.
