Arguing for the best Splatoon Idol groups are very common but competition has never been higher. Splatoon 3Upcoming 2nd Anniversary Celebration of: Grand Festival.
Starting on September 13 and ending on the 16th of the same month (or the 12th to the 15th, depending on your region), this three-day event is not only a Splatfest where fans of each group battle each other, but also a music festival where pop stars don new outfits to perform on stages big and small.
That means Splatoon‘s squid sisters, Splatoon 2‘s Off The Hook, and the newest team in Splatoon 3’s Deep Cut will battle it out on stage and in your hearts. Oh man, we’re so excited! But don’t decide who to root for just yet, because the results of Splatfest could determine the shape Splatoon 4 plays out pretty much like what the final Splatfests of the first two games did for their sequels.
We’re here to prove each team’s argument, but first you might be saying to yourself, “Nintendo never called this the last Splatfest!” So, let’s first discuss why this match is likely to be close.
Final Splatfest or just Grand?
While Nintendo doesn’t specifically state that the Grand Festival is the epilogue to Splatoon 3, the sheer magnitude of the event has led many to conclude that it is. However, that’s also true in reality.
First, the title of the press release announcing the Grand Festival states “Splatoon 3 Splatfests Reach a Crescendo,” which means the Grand Festival is probably the most mind-blowing spectacle we’ve seen in this section. Given that previous games have framed their Splatfests as large-scale events celebrating their second anniversary, it would logically follow that the Grand Festival would similarly decide the fate of Splatoon 4. On top of that, those Splatfests also run for a long time and come with merchandise drops (including Splatoon’s Callie & Marie amiibo). Sound familiar?
The “Past vs. Present vs. Future” theme also feels very similar to Splatoon 2’s “Chaos vs. Order,” which ultimately dictated the base game and expansions of Splatoon 3. Themes like this naturally lend themselves to the broad palette that developers can create their next game with. There’s only one other Splatfest in Splatoon 3 that uses a similarly broad theme, and that’s Zelda Crossover, this is an exception. Therefore, this trio of choices stands out.
If that wasn’t enough, each team is represented by an idol group instead of individual Deep Cut members, reminiscent of the “Callie vs. Marie” battle that ended Splatoon. Even if it’s all just random, the stakes are still high as this is a huge opportunity for fans to claim their favorite idol group once and for all.
If you’re still undecided or feeling unprepared for the upcoming brawl, it’s time to hear us out on all three teams.
The Past – The Squid Sisters
There’s one thing no one can deny about this Splatfest: Callie and Marie are the The quintessential squid idols. They are the heads of the franchise that defined the concept of “fresh” back in 2015. Not only were they the hosts of the first game, but they also played a major role in the campaigns of both sequels. Some might call this duo over-the-top, but we don’t think that’s fair. They’re both classic and consistently sport some of the most fashionable outfits in Inkadia.
For Grand Festival, the duo is sporting a hedgehog theme. Callie has spikes in her fringed hair, and Marie has donned a hedgehog shell. Their white outfits, adorned with rows of black gemstones, might make you think they’re going for a completely classy approach, but one detail shows their competitive spirit bubbling beneath the surface: the ring on Marie’s middle finger. Her typically calm demeanor has an edge that screams, “I’m in it to win.” The bold accessory could pay off, as this team will undoubtedly attract many of the series’ veterans who have supported the unit for nearly a decade.
The Squid Sisters are living proof that the past is immortal. A Splatoon 4 that focuses on retro outfits from real-life eras would be an interesting twist on the modern fashion the series is known for. A referendum on nostalgia would also make for a compelling story. Plus, given the poor sales of the Wii U, this would be the first time many people get to experience Callie & Marie as hosts.
Present – Off the Hook
Even though their main focus is technically a thing of the past, Pearl & Marina are the most iconic idols of the modern era. This is not just because they were the subject of the recent Splatoon 3 Side dishes expanded; they are the unit most synonymous with modern musical trends, especially in hip-hop and electronic music. Additionally, Pearl is a byproduct of the social media era as the most meme-able Splatoon character next to Big Man.
This competition was no joke for Pearl, though. She ditched her iconic tiara for a sexy military commander outfit. In other words, she was on the front lines this time. We mean, don’t underestimate her short stature unless you want to get kicked in the shins. Marina, meanwhile, paired those soldierly looks with nightclub-appropriate attire, including a sequined silver bikini top with a matching necklace and pointed earrings that gave her the X-factor. She ditched her signature headphones and instead played a keytar for this performance, and who could argue with that? She was like KK Slider—cool behind the turntables, but rocking a guitar (a guitar-shaped instrument, to be exact).
Currents are always changing, so while Splatoon is almost exclusively focused on the latest looks, the ever-changing nature of trends means that the series will never go out of style. So while voting for Off the Hook might seem like a vote for the status quo in theory, in reality it’s not.
Future – Deep Cut
Finally, we come to the Splatoon 3 idols, the trio we’ve spent the past two years singing about. Everyone attending the Grand Festival will be familiar with them, giving them the home team advantage. However, that doesn’t mean they’re resting on their laurels against fierce competition; they’ve delivered outfits that push the boundaries of fashion.
Shiver now has 20/20 vision as she parts her tentacle hair out of her eyes; she even goes further and has the Deep Cut logo tattoo on her belly. That’s dedication. What really stands out, though, is her new wig that replaces her twisted hachimaki. We don’t total sure what it was supposed to be, though that only helped sell their futuristic theme. A gym-ready Frye followed suit with a forward-facing bun shaped like little horns. The metal wires holding them together extended down to her ears, an eye-catching use of their length to accentuate her look.
But let’s be honest: we’re really here to talk about Big Man. You’ve read this far, so we’re not going to pretend: I think he’s the best ever and will always be. He’s big. He’s soft. He’s got the emoji smile. Everyone wants to hug him. Well, for now, at least. If the spiked overalls he chooses to wear don’t pierce you, his eyeshadow will. Add that wild wig to the mix, and Big Man becomes Big Punk in a way that says he’s Ready for the Fight.
This vision of the future promises some quirky styling for Splatoon 4, allowing the entry to forge a new visual identity. If you’re a little bored with the series’ streetwear, this is the team you’ll want to root for. (Or if you just want to root for Big Man. Yes, we’re biased.)
But who will you choose?
Enough of what we Think about it, though. I want to hear from you! Are you joining to represent your favorite unit, to potentially pave the way for Splatoon 4, or is there something else you’re looking for in a team? Let us know by voting in our poll and leaving a comment. But above all, make sure to enjoy the Grand Festival from September 12-15 as it’s shaping up to be Splatoon’s greatest spectacle yet.
