What are the things that make you feel sexy? That’s a question I’ve been thinking about lately, and not because of me try to feel sexier, but because it took me longer to intentionally connected With my body through movement, rest, and setting boundaries, the sexier I feel. For me, Feeling sexy is about confidence.
Once I got to know who I was, I was open and curious to explore more parts of myself with knowledge that I was always developing. That feels sexy. When I can look inward and connect with myself — without having to look to others for external approval or validation — and find beauty in honest speech with different opinions that helps stretch In my mind, that’s sexy. Right now, I’m in a phase of my life where I’m learning to slow down, move my body purposeful, deeply invested in the people and projects that bring me joy, and harnessing my feminine energy… and that’s great.
As a Type A planner, I’ve almost forgotten about releasing control, going with the flow and letting what happens, happens as it is.
So in the spirit of this adventure season To find out what makes me feel sexy, I thought I’d share a few methods and products that I’m falling in love with. I hope they also help you open up and discover the things that make you feel attractive.
Introverted connection
For me, this means taking the time to really understand what I love and what brings me joy vs. Candlestick love and cherish. While I think it’s human nature to want to be liked and accepted, the more true I am to myself, the less I seek validation or approval from the outside, and more importantly, I more inclined to seize the opportunity, make the first move, decline an invitation, throw my name in the ring for consideration, and come up with a bold idea that makes sense. I’m a bit detached from the outcome because I know I’ve done right for myself and that’s okay if it doesn’t work out.
Move my body
We all know movement makes us feel better, but for me, it’s deeper than that. I love spending time with my body and take pride in what it can do, and physically feels it’s getting stronger and more capable of carrying me to this lifetime. The moment I finish a good run or hit a milestone I did in Pilates, I can’t help but feel my body inspired and more deeply connected to it.
Jump
When it comes to moving my body, I love dancing. I have been a dancer for 15 years and have performed more than I can count. The second I started running and listening to music again, my dancing increased again. Dancing makes me feel free, confident and looking forward to musical genres, sexy, fun, exciting or relaxing. I could watch music videos for hours and simply watch the dancers move and flow seamlessly with tracks that hit my core. I miss dancing so much, I just signed up for private dance lessons with an instructor. Whether I’m dancing to Doja Cat, Dua Lipa or CKay’s love nwantitiall have the same result which is the final sexy feeling.
My Intimate Upgrade
Recently I came across the most beautiful Kiki de Montparnasse booked and was almost hesitant to buy something because I was single, then I thought, “why not buy it just for me?” This type of kit isn’t necessarily exclusive to my partner. I bought it, wore a decorative lace bra underneath a sheer bodysuit, and went into the evening feeling glamorous and beautiful. Not only is it a great twist on my typical outfits, but I also feel great and it’s well received when I’m out.
PS: This is your cue to take inventory of your intimate outfits at home and add a few interesting pieces to your collection. Single or not, will thank me later.
Book an adventure
I recently listed Emily Morse’s Sex with Emily podcastit’s my absolute favorite and she talked about the correlation between adrenaline and arousal. She talks about brain and nervous system hacks you can use to create excitement and stimulation. I love thinking about new adventures and what this leads to, so I booked a trip to Paris for my 40s.order and buy some new clothes that I know make me feel great. I can easily do something adventurous like take a day trip somewhere and plan it like I’m on a date. If you are partnered, you can have a lot of fun with this!
Communication is lubrication
Speaking of Morse, my favorite thing she’s ever said about relationships is “communication is lubrication,” and I’m here to report that, there’s nothing sexier than being able to communicate clearly and Set boundaries in every aspect of your life, relationship or otherwise. I can confidently say that clear communication is the only way to live.
If you need help in communication and/or you want to get to know your partner better, there’s no shortage of decks to help. Where should we start? by psychotherapist and relationship expert, Ester Perel, Honest dating relationship packed or beautiful Self-Love Edition Deck by We Aren’t Really Strangers.
Complacent
I’m not leaving this out. I’ve noticed that many people end up hugging talking about this and not feeling embarrassed or ashamed, which I think is great. I’ve seen influencers advertise entertainment tools on social media, and more friends share their favorite products over dinner or in a group message. Whether you have studied Goop’s Tool Shop or looking for tried and rated right, the best advice I can give you is to have fun learning what you like. I’m a fan of Maudeand their mission is to support and amplify organizations that are working to raise standards in sex education through national advocacy, educational programming and accessibility.
Honor yourself, honor others
It feels great to not only celebrate others, but also to celebrate your victory. I’m talking about all the wins. Did you drink a lot of water today? GO YOU. Did you say no to the invitation because you knew it was inappropriate? PROUD OF YOU. Boost your friends and yourself too. You will feel a huge change in energy and you will feel incredible. I cannot emphasize this enough. I don’t care what you do to celebrate yourself, but a simple “go for me” is confident, sexy, and will impact every area of your life.
