Editor’s Note: We hope this article, first published January 2020, inspires you to spread a little love to those closest and dearest. yours, today and always.
Let’s talk about Love. Not Kenny G Kardashian class and love of rose petals. (If you can even call it the “l.”) Here, we break down five super-simple ways to remind your best people that they are the best. No big gestures, no need to spend big.
Be there during the bad times.
A simple “Hello, I know today can be difficult, sending love” will go a long way. There may be interest, but I put in my calendars the difficult days of my friends: the anniversaries, the weddings of the divorced, the due dates of the miscarried children. That way, I can give myself as much love and attention as they want and need that day, and at the very least, I’ll make sure to send them a text letting them know that I’m thinking of them. surname.
Leaning on your friends’ hard times shows them you’re omnipresent, sick and healthy, rich or poor, don’t mind wetting their shoulders. Don’t worry that you will make it worse. They don’t forget, but they fear everyone else has. No, their grief is not a burden. Yes, you are always available to listen, give advice, or distract you. Unfortunately, Grief does not go away in a calendar yearso consider making periodic calendar notes.
Leaning on your friends’ hard times shows them you’re omnipresent, sick and healthy, rich or poor, don’t mind wetting their shoulders. Don’t worry that you will make it worse. They don’t forget, but they fear everyone else has.
Is their biggest fan.
You may not be able to do those things, but you can be the biggest cheerleader for your loved ones, carrying your proverbs for them. Kinda easy. Attend their events, share their work, buy their work, connect them with your beloved accountant. Send them virtual compliments, “proud of you” messages, clapping emojis.
Having fun with their little victories is a win-win for everyone.
Presently.
Last week, I sent a stack of magazines to my newly pregnant, nauseating friend on the couch, and she lent me a tape. The visit lasted thirty seconds. That’s all we both needed.
How can you appear? Can you schedule a weekly FaceTime session? Can you take their kids to a ballet lesson so they can have an hour alone? How about bringing a stack of cookbooks and help prepare meals for the week? Figure out how your people need you to appear, whether that’s literally knocking on doors or being physically present.
Speak in their love language.
PSA to my inner circle: My love language is cuddling on the couch, talking, kinda, but quiet is fine too, and ideally with wine, snacks and/or Real housewives related. It’s Taurus’ ideal combination of quality time and physical touch. I understand that’s not everyone’s ideal love language pairing.
What are they you ask? The five love languages—How you experience, give, and receive love. If you are not familiar, let’s get acquainted and take the free test this. These are: quality time, acts of service, affirmations, physical touch, and gifts.
While your love language could be one thing, theirs could be another, and the way you both tend to give love could be another category entirely. For example, while I want a live session (quality time), I’m more inclined to scrub someone’s bottoms (act of service) and give them a bath God, you are so handsome (affirmation). Turns out what they might really need is a tight hug (body touch) and a few hours before a quiz (back to quality time). Separate your needs to realize how much they need to be loved be a friend/partner/selfless daughter/whatever.
What better act of love than listening? Heard = heard = seen = understood.
Turn on your headphones.
Ask question. The profound, the absurd, the hypothetical. Know the name of their first kiss, the story of how they got the scar on their chin, that they are allergic to crabs but not lobsters, how they feel about their stepmother. Garner really cares about what interests them. Then the next time they need to pick me up, you can surprise them with a bouquet of golden daisies or a bottle of their favorite sparkling Lambrusco or a bag full of Arby’s roast beef—any Anything they let slip in the conversation is special to them.
What better act of love than listening? Heard = heard = seen = understood.
Ready, prepared, started, loved — simply.
Megan is a writer, editor, etc-er who muses about life, design, and travel for Domino, Lonny, Hunker and more. The rules in her life include, but are not limited to: a zipper on incorporation, cash tips, and contributions to your IRA. Be a friend and subscribe to her newsletter Night vision or follow her on Instagram.
