I’m not the man I used to be and many men’s magazines – and, without a doubt, Dr. Jordan Peterson – say I should be.
I’m fine with that and rolling on my way as best I can.
So I confess I don’t jump into every convoy of men, waking the horses with neighing and a giddy amusement.
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But I do feel the urge to mention a particular type of device for men that I may have resisted for too long – the personal shaver.
I feel sure it’s a good idea. I feel a little uncertain that the way it is about to be advertised is entirely appropriate.
You see, I just stumbled across a new ad for Manscaped’s Beard Hedger.
Or, in its more comprehensive way The description of Amazon“MANSCAPED® The Beard Hedger™ Premium Precision Beard Trimmer, 20-length adjustable blade wheel, Stainless steel T-blade for precise facial hair trimming, Waterproof wet/dry trimmer .”
How would you introduce such a seemingly useful product to the world?
Do you want to give the strongest men in the world a beard before a competition? Can you show rows of hipster men adoringly trimming their beards and claiming it improves their coffee drinking techniques and hygiene?
more technically incorrect
Or would you let a famous golfer and his son chat about how, on father’s day, women are said to prefer hairy men downstairs?
You can guess that Manscaped chose the last option. Because this is golfing legend John Daly and his son, golfer Little John Daly of the University of Arkansas, discussing his father’s orchard.
Dad asked his son which club to use. For some reason, little John believes his father is talking about his beard and asks him to try this little machine.
“Contained?” The father said. “Son, in my day, ladies liked the grass on the fairways.” Then he seemed about to show his son his grass.
Do I hear a cough?
Look, it’s not you, it’s me.
You will tell me that it is completely normal for a father to converse with his son about the landscape of the neighbourhood. And I’ll tell you you’re right, while quietly squirming.
Little John had to explain to Big John that this particular device was for his face, not underneath his belly. Then a voiceover came up explaining this has 20 settings, which sounds pretty awesome.
The two stars in commercials are very good. There’s even a good bit of comic time.
However, I personally find the best way to deal with my beard is to shave it off completely every ten days. That way, I look a little different every day.
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Here, however, we are told that a man’s beard must have a consistent pattern — this, if you’re familiar with Big John’s Daily wear is very subjectiveusually not the case for him.
Men’s hair care is a lucrative market — 55 billion dollars, it seems. This is because many men have a great need to express themselves in a very special way. You’ve certainly watched at least one session of Congress to appreciate that.
But oh, father and son talking about, you know, downstairs? That might be a bit too liberating for some.
