Business

I raised 2 successful CEOs and a doctor. This is the #1 skill that I wish more parents taught their kids today


Develop skills such as curiosity, goodness and emotional intelligence helps children succeed in adulthood. But there is one skill that today’s parents still don’t teach their children enough: the ability to self-regulate.

As children learn to self-regulate, they gain a better understanding of the importance of time and how to manage their own behavior and actions.

This is what I made it a priority to teach my daughters when they were young, and it has contributed to their success. Susan is the CEO of YouTubeJanet is a doctor and Anne is the co-founder and CEO of 23andMe.

All three rose to the top in competitive male-dominated professions.

Children need to learn to self-regulate more than ever

Twenty years ago, children would meet friends in person, play outdoors, do puzzles, and read books.

Things have changed a lot since then. We are constantly on electronic devices. And kids are very tech-savvy. I’ve seen second graders demanding their parents’ cell phones to take pictures or post them on social media.

But the kids have not so much access that worries me. It is the lack of self-control and self-efficacy associated with access. How much time should kids spend on digital devices? How often should they use it? What should they do on it?

Self-regulation isn’t just about screen time. Ultimately, it helps them become more competent and confident in all aspects of their lives.

How can parents help children self-regulate?

Self-regulation begins to develop rapidly during the toddler and preschool years, so the earlier we start teaching it, the better.

1. Build a healthy relationship with technology.

Think about the last time you had lunch while typing email while listening to a podcast and checking your phone every time it rang. We’ve all been there.

Children may have difficulty self-regulating because their parents model this behavior. Remember, our kids are constantly watching and copying us!

Even worse, a survey with more than 6,000 participants found that 54% of children think their parents use their devices too often. 32% of children feel “not important” when their parents are on the phone.

Not important. It makes me sad. How many of us adults have felt this way when someone checked their phone while chatting? Yes, phones are addictive, but for the sake of our children and ours, we must set boundaries.

2. Teach them patience.

Self-regulation is made up of many skills, and one of them is patience. One research above Delayed gratification found that children who could wait longer for rewards tended to have better life outcomes.

This is the opposite of teaching patience: leaving a child online all day – in the car, in the restaurant, at the dinner table.

For my girls, waiting and saving are part of our lives. We didn’t have much money when they were growing up, so we saved for what we wanted. Everyone has their own piggy bank, and they fill every penny. We even cut coupons from the newspaper every Sunday.

When they are able to buy something they want through their patience, they feel like they have achieved something.

3. Let them be bored.

As a teacher, my students sometimes complain to me that I can’t get their attention in a lecture. But I was never upset or offended.

I took it as a learning opportunity and said, “I want you to go home and ask your parents if they ever get bored with their jobs. If you come back tomorrow with an answer that they don’t, they don’t. never get bored, you can skip my lecture.”

That got their attention. “Boredom is preparation for life,” I told them. “You are currently practicing.” They laugh, but they all understand. Life is sometimes, or often, boring.

But you can learn a lot in those moments. You can go straight to your phone or you can dream: What is your goal? What will your next step be? Obstacles standing in the way? Where do you feel most excited, most hopeful?

4. Set technology rules.

This is not without controversy, but surprisingly many parents do not establish ground rules.

Here are some of my top rules for technology:

  1. Set up a plan with your child, no Because Your kids.
  2. Don’t use your phone during meals, whether at your home or someone else’s.
  3. Don’t use your phone after going to bed. Explain the importance of sleep to brain development and remind the children that their bodies grow as they sleep.
  4. Use with caution with young children. Younger children, starting at age four, should be taught how to use cell phones in an emergency.
  5. Children should come up with their own cell phone policies for family vacations or any type of social activity where they need to be present. Make sure to choose a penalty for not following their own policy (e.g. losing a certain amount of time on the device).
  6. Discuss the right images and sounds to share online. Explain that whatever they post leaves a digital mark.
  7. Help them understand what cyberbullying is and its negative impact on others. I always say: “Laugh with your friends, no in surname.”
  8. Teach them not to provide personally identifiable information.

The goal is to empower them and teach them about self-efficacy. When children are able to self-regulate, they will have more successful relationships with themselves and with others.

Esther Wojcicki is an educator, journalist, and bestselling author “How to Raise Successful People.” She is also the co-founder of Tract.app and head of the parenting department at Shey hey. Follow her on Twitter @EstherWojcicki.

Do not miss:

Want to make more money and work less? Register free CNBC Make It: Your Money virtual event on December 13 at 12 p.m. ET.

I spoke to 70 parents of very successful adults: 4 phrases they never used when raising them

news7g

News7g: Update the world's latest breaking news online of the day, breaking news, politics, society today, international mainstream news .Updated news 24/7: Entertainment, Sports...at the World everyday world. Hot news, images, video clips that are updated quickly and reliably

Related Articles

Back to top button