Help for Week One – Dogster

Dogs bring so much joy and companionship to our lives, but their time with us never lasts as long as we would like. When it’s time to say goodbye to your dog, you may be wondering how to deal with the loss of your pet. Does your company allow you to take leave for your pet? How can you deal with all the emotions that come with periods of grief? And how do you remember your pet after it’s gone?

Bereavement leave for pets

To be sure, the pain associated with losing a pet can be intense — or even more so — the pain of losing a human family member. However, most employers do not provide bereavement leave for pets. If you are faced with the loss of a pet, you may feel reluctant to fulfill your responsibilities at work or interact with co-workers.

Standard bereavement leave policies generally allow 3 to 7 days of leave for an immediate family member, such as a spouse, parent, child, grandparent or grandchild, but Policies may vary from company to company, according to policies. Human Resource Standards Institute. If your company doesn’t offer pet bereavement leave, you may have other options for taking a few days off work.

Coleen Ellis, CT, CPLP, founder of Two Hearts Pet Loss Center. “However, that sounds easy, but I think it’s also… an extremely mindful process if their team leader understands this requirement.”

Instead of bereavement leave, you can apply for sick or personal leave to deal with the loss of a pet. Joe Dwyer, an ordained deacon, animal chaplain and companion in the loss of a pet, says: “In many cases, paid time off and sick time need no particular reason. . “The bottom line is that if you need time to bury a loved one, you should do what you can without jeopardizing your job.”

If you don’t have time off work, Coleen recommends finding moments to deal with the loss of a pet before work, during your lunch break, after work, or other times of the day. “Take the time… to do some of the active funeral work necessary for a healthy grief journey,” she said.

If you work for yourself retired or stay at home, try to organize your schedule so that you have time to grieve. If you can take time off or can get someone else to help you with projects or kids, do so. Staying up all night can be a challenge since there’s nothing else to distract you, so you might want to take your morning off if you can as you could end up exhausted. No problem, don’t be afraid to ask for help.

The stages of grief after the loss of a pet

The emotions you may feel after the death of a pet are similar to those of the loss of a friend or family member. “The stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance,” says Joe.

These five stages of grief are known as the Kubler-Ross model, developed by Swiss-American psychiatrist Elizabeth Kubler-Ross. They were originally revealed in her book About death and death published in 1969.

• Denial: This initial stage of grief is a coping mechanism that allows you to gradually process the strong and often sudden feelings that can accompany loss by denying that loss did not happen. An example of this is the feeling that your dog will soon approach, that he is in another room.
• Anger: This emotion can manifest as anger or real emotions such as bitterness or resentment. Anger masks other emotions and pain you may be experiencing. An example of this stage is feeling angry at your veterinarian for the unwarranted belief that he could have done more to save your dog.
• Bargaining: You may go through this stage of grief when you feel helpless and want to find a way to control what is happening. Examples include “what if” and “what if” thoughts, such as “If only I had noticed my dog’s symptoms sooner.”
• Depression: This stage can come when you are no longer trying to hide from the emotions that come with the loss. However, depression can make you feel overwhelmed — if it doesn’t seem like you can get through it, talk to a counselor or therapist. An example of this stage is the feeling you don’t know what to do without a pet in your life.
• Acceptance: At this stage, you have accepted your loss and understand how it affects your life. This doesn’t mean you’ve gotten over the pain of losing your pet, but you can focus more on the fun times you shared with it.

How to deal with the loss of a pet

Rationally, the grief episodes can be perfectly reasonable, but emotionally, they can feel confused, frustrated, and overwhelmed, especially when the loss is new. “The best way to get through these stages is to understand that there is no particular order or time period that applies to the stages,” says Joe. “You can be angry today, depressed tomorrow, and in denial on Day 3. From the outset, it’s important to just accept what you’re feeling and not let yourself or anyone else say it. tell you how you should feel.”

The ways you find out to deal with your loss will be as unique as your journey through the stages of grief. Coleen calls this “work of mourning” and notes that “healing of loss accompanies deliberate and intentional mourning. It allows us to reconcile the pain in our hearts and souls in a very healthy way by moving through our grieving journey.”

According to Coleen, some helpful approaches to funeral work include journaling, lighting candles, exercising, meditating, volunteering in honor of a lost pet, or organizing a memorial service. She added: “There are countless other personal and personal activities that are meaningful and healing.

How to memorialize your pet

As Coleen notes, finding ways to honor your pet’s memory can help you heal after a loss. Other options include donating to an animal welfare organization in your pet’s name, creating a photo diary filled with fond memories of your pet, or holding a memorial service, according to Joe.

“If it is decided to bury the pet, there will be such beautiful markers and stones that can mark the grave, complete with a special epitaph that summarizes the pet and the life they have lived,” says Coleen. Coleen said. “The options today are truly endless to celebrate these beautiful loves.”

But can you bury your pet in the backyard? That largely depends on the laws in your city and state. In California, for example, it’s illegal to bury your pet in the backyard, but you can scatter cremated remains in the yard. If you are considering this option, check with your local government about the laws in your city and state.

In general, most states require that you bury your pet within 24 to 48 hours of their death, and you bury your pet at a certain depth depending on the size of the pet. . However, keep in mind that pet burial grounds can pose a health risk to other pets in the backyard, who may become curious about disturbed soil or strong scents.

Another option for pet burial is a pet cemetery. Many pet cemeteries offer both burial and cremation services, depending on your preferences. The compassionate staff at such facilities can help you make every decision regarding your pet’s final resting place, from choosing a coffin or urn to marking way. Some even offer referrals for grief counseling.

Moving after losing a pet

No matter how you decide to pay your last respects to your pet, remember that the memories of your pet will stay with you for a lifetime. “Although memories will be hard when the pain is most intact, know that there is a way to continue the relationship, only now through your memories,” says Coleen. “When the time is right, remember… the love and the good days together.”