Maybe you’ve kept your distance from others until now. Maybe your relationship doesn’t last long and you’re ready for something new. Or maybe you haven’t been in the right space for intimacy in a while. Whatever the reason, maybe it’s been a hot minute since someone saw you naked.
It makes complete sense to worry about showing up for the deal and getting busy after all we’ve been through. This is three ways to reduce anxiety about sex and feel more confident about being back in the sack.
Validate the fact that any anxiety about sex or nudity is completely and completely normal
Supercharged feelings like guilt and shame, especially when it comes to our bodies, along with pre-existing anxiety can be a huge burden, so we wanted to examine how self-talk and how it affects us.
Narrative is endless stream of unspoken thoughts run through your head. These automatic thoughts can be positive or negative. Some of your self-talk comes from logic and reason. Other narratives may arise from misconceptions that you create because of a lack of information. Using positive self-talk when you’re talking to yourself not only about your body but also about your feelings is an important part of reducing anxiety.
Struggling with positive self-talk? Imagine how you could talk to a friend or loved one who is feeling the pressure of guilt, shame, and anxiety. What will you tell them? So has it been six, twelve, eighteen, or a million months since you slept with someone? Of course you will feel distracted! It’s like anything else. When you get back to the flow of things, your anxiety levels will drop. That’s perfectly normal.
We don’t deny the fact that we can feel anxious. Of course we’re nervous! We just validate our feelings and treat ourselves with kindness and understanding. We don’t want negative feelings to combine with negative emotions to the point of overwhelming us with them.
Think about how you can cushion an uncomfortable experience with things that give you confidence, self-esteem, excitement, and love.
If being seen naked is something you want to do and although you know it will bring you satisfaction and pleasure in the future, it will make you uncomfortable for a while. In short, think of something you can do to create a cushion around an activity that will help your self-esteem right now.
So if you’re on a date and you’re a little stressed out knowing you’ll be busy at the end of the day, what can you do to give yourself a little bit of fun and comfort?
You can try something like:
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Store a funny meme or video on your phone that you can preview before the end of the reward to give yourself a chuckle
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Text a friend about your hang-up so they can talk to you
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Engaging in a hobby or activity earlier that day (or even on the day itself) will give you confidence and increase endorphins
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Work with a therapist who can help you plan how you will integrate sexual activity and intimacy back into your life.
You can even work with a therapist who specializes in sex. Through sex therapy, you can address concerns about sexual function, sexual feelings, and intimacy. Talking about sex and intimacy can feel awkward or make you even more anxious at first, but sex therapists are trained to help you feel comfortable and are skilled in identifying and exploring. sexual concerns.
Take as much time as you need with small, actionable steps that will help get you out of your sex anxiety and toward your goal of an enjoyable sex life.
Remember that no one can pressure you to move faster than you are ready. You work on your timeline and your timeline, whether it be quick or comfortable. You don’t want to push yourself so far have crossed your boundaries where you feel demoralized or as if you can’t move forward anymore.
But if you’re ready, think long and hard about where you want to be and how you want to feel in a few months and break that down into controllable steps that will challenge you to step out of your comfort zone. your whole life in a healthy and supportive manner.
You can start by going out on a date, being intimate in less dangerous ways, moving at a pace that feels comfortable to you, taking your time to process what happened and how you feel. you, while working to a level of intimacy and tempo that feels enjoyable and satisfying to you. If helpful, you can journal about your experience or simply take some time to reflect on where you’ve started and how you’re progressing to give you more confidence as you go through the process. this.
You should discover how many of your ideas about how you look or what you should do are coming to you from outside sources, not yourself.
We often absorb a lot of judgments, opinions, values and ideals from outside sources such as romantic partners, friends and colleagues, social networks, television and movies, etc. To overcome your own gender anxiety, try to focus as much as possible on your inner created vision of yourself.
Discover and focus your own values, your wants and needs on yourself, and your own ideas of health and beauty versus those assigned to you by others . You can create your own vision board, plan, or mantra to focus your own vision and eliminate prioritizing the influence of others who may be trying to creep in.
We want you to live for you and create a world and habits that work for you and work for you, and that are rooted in your values and goals — and that includes addressing anxiety. about sex and having an intimate life that works for you.
